The Let's Play Archive

Riviera: The Promised Land

by Didja Redo

Part 9: Nelde Ruins, Part 1

placid saviour posted:

I'm really, really enjoying this LP. I hope for your sake you'll keep up this level of funny, cause I'll be really fucking pissed if you EVER post a bad update.

Just saying.

No pressure, then!

The shadow of the Accursed spreads...

Realising the danger, Ein and company leave Elendia and head for the ancient ruins of Nelde.

It is rumoured that Nelde, an aged place, is still riddled with magic traps.

Ein, accompanied by Fia, Lina and Serene, sets foot in Wiese Forest in search of the entrance to the ruins.

Within the ruins, he hopes to find the source of their trouble, the Accursed...

Before we do anything at all here, we'll be training up to master our shiny new items.

FACTOID: Books, Claws, Whips and Spears are, if you like, your "secondary" weapons; nobody favours them, and thus nobody learns level 3 Over Skills with them. The upside is that their normal skills are generally more powerful/versatile than those of the other weapons.

Great. So we get two "ignorant moron" choices and one clumsy pass.

That's a squirrel?
Yes, it is. Isn't it cute?
Can I keep-
Uh...I don't think-


Got him.
Why do you destroy everything I love?!

So! That mushroom looks interesting, doesn't it?

A spotted white mushroom...according to the book, it's a Dizzyshroom. Eating one can cause hallucinations.
Really? Sounds kind of cool.
Er, no. We're not talking about "Whoa, trippy" hallucinations here. More like "OH GOD MY LEGS ARE MADE OF SPIDERS AAAHHHH"
That and renal failure.

We're going to be coming across quite a lot of weird and wonderful fungi in this forest. Since we picked up the Mushroom Book from Claude earlier, we can safely identify most of them.

However, let's suppose for a moment that we hadn't done that. What would have happened then?

Instead, we would be caught in a game of killer mushroom roulette. Essentially, you just have to guess whether you should take each mushroom with you, leave it alone or scarf it down there and then. (And yes, there is one instance in which the latter option works out for you. Chalk up another notch on the "rewarded for stupid crap" tally.)

EIN IS A DICK: You can also try to make guinea pigs out of your lady friends, happily offering each of them a bite, despite knowing that even the slightest nibble could potentially condemn them to a gurgling, paroxysmic death.

Well, let's take it anyway. Maybe we can use it.

EIN IS A DICK: seriously

Yay! I'll make some mushroom soup!
What does "renal failure" mean?

Ooh, lots of options here. Let's check out the mushroom and the chest before we move anywhere.

A thin, brown mushroom...Laughshroom. Those who eat it can't stop laughing.
Could we use it to make potions?
Um...probably not. Why do you ask?
Well, they do say that laughter is the best medicine!
this is where you eat the mushroom and laugh forever

Did I actually show you this yet? I don't think I did. Probably because I skipped damn near every chest in Lacrima.

You can't see this since I'm too lazy to make a gif out of it, but quite often, a chest contains one of several items, and you have to do a little roulette thing to determine which one you get. It's really just luck, though; it moves way too fast for you purposefully stop it on what you want.

(That is unless you play with the Frame Skip settings to slow it down. )

This chest contains either a FlamBERGE, a Silver Rapier, or a Lightning Bow.

Now let's head down into the swamp.

This mushroom's all puffy! It feels good! I want it for a pillow.
A pillow?
Let's cut a little piece off and take it home with us. It's OK, right Ein?

Well that seems innocent enough, right? After all, she just wants one itty bitty piece of it. What's the harm?

Let me tell you what the harm is. First, it sprays you with toxic spores. Then, it summons a bunch of monsters that you have to fight. THEN you end up falling into this screen later on and the mushroom's supposed to cushion your landing, but since you've tampered with it it's all deflated and everyone will take damage instead.

And then?

Then it comes for your children.


This is a Powershroom. It's a healthy fungus that'll boost your power...

...but it has also been known to cause testicular atrophy. did that on purpose.
Did what on purpose?
Mmm. Raisins.

We're going to leave the Big Flower for the time being. When you examine it, it boosts the Magic stat of everyone in the party...but if we do that right now, SOMEONE'S GOING TO MISS OUT.


Back to the four-way junction. This time we'll head north, "beyond the trees."

Death to all what?
Death to all!
What, just "all"? As in "everything"?
You realise, of course, that "Death to all" would include death to yourselves.

Fighting isn't always the answer. Words can kill people too!

I should point out, by the way, that these ghost enemies have an attack called "Lickety-lick", which adds to your wait gauge. A sort of "paralysis" effect, you might say. Sound familiar at all?

What's the story here? Was Sting stealing ideas, or are licky ghosts with anaesthetic spit just...a thing? In Japan?

Anyway. Let's have a look at that chest, shall we?

I'm sinking!

Despite what you might think, Ein doesn't die if you fail here; he still escapes, but he loses a little bit of HP in the process. Also you don't get any points.

EIN IS A DICK: Of course it's a fucking swamp. He said it himself not five seconds ago. Why the hell would anyone even THINK to insist that it isn't, if not out of pure belligerence?

It's not a swamp.
Yes it is.
It's totally not!
Yes it is! It's muddy, waterlogged terrain covered with vegetation! That is what swamps are!
Hey, let's not get bogged down with technicalities here!

Yeah, even I'll admit that I deserved that one.

This is a pretty annoying thing. Whenever you get "Drenched", your inventory is affected; any magical books you're carrying instead become the "Wet Book" item, which is completely useless. If you're carrying Bread, it'll end up as Wet Bread and eventually Mouldy Bread, and any meat you're carrying will go rotten.

(Believe it or not, though, Cierra can actually master Mouldy Bread and Rotten Meat, so it's worth letting some of your food go rancid.)

So what do we do? Can we get this chest open or not? Of course we can!

Serene, can you handle this?
I think Lina should take care of it, actually.
Why me?!
'Cause I'd really enjoy watching you drown?

If you have Lina do it then, quite unsurprisingly, she sinks. And then the chest sinks. And then, after she barely escapes with her life without you lifting a finger to help her, you can taunt her about being heavy. It's deliciously cruel.

ps ein is a dick

However, it also robs us of the opportunity to get some Serene affection, which we really need to start harvesting if we're going to get her ending, so Serene it is.

Fine, fine. Watch and learn, children.

No problem. Can we still throw Lina in, though?
why must you treat me this way

And all this for an item that we're just going to throw away. Riviera, ladies and gentlemen.

Back to the four-way screen; this time, we're moving east.

Fun? Sure. We'll have some fun. I'm a fun g-

What's that you say? Fire super effective against grass? Ingenious!

This ladymage is vulnerable to Lightning damage. She also likes to pepper the back row with magic attacks, which is why we stuck Fia in the back; the higher a character's Magic stat, the higher their resistance to magic attacks, and Fia's currently our beefiest character in that regard.

So this is the entrance to the ruins?
Look carefully at the blocks. Three of them have marks on them...we should make sure we only step on those.

You know what's silly about this minigame? If you make one mistake, regardless of what it is, you fail it. However, unlike all the other minigames, it doesn't immediately end when you screw it up; the cursor keeps moving to the end of the bar, which kind of creates the impression that you're allowed one or two missed presses.

But you aren't.

So that shouldn't happen.

I just thought you guys should know that.

We made it!

Serene's cheating!
No, y'all are just playing with a handicap.

Chest contains the same assortment of FlamBERGE, Silver Rapier and Lightning Bow.

What happened?
This root just signed its death warrant, is what happened.
You tripped?

Oddly enough, if you don't examine the roots, Serene won't trip. You'd think that if you examined them first, you'd be paying closer attention to them, and therefore take care not to stumble on them.

Or maybe it really was a sentient, evil root. Who knows?

Yeah, watch out for those roots. The enormous, hairy beast over there in the corner, though? Don't worry about that.

It's sleeping!

Serene? Go.
Hell yeah.

(Sadly, Serene doesn't kill it outright, but it does start the fight with only half of its health now.

In case you're wondering, sneaking past doesn't work. You will always screw it up.)

One monster + Halved HP = Really short battle.

Unless you're Fia or Cierra, the skill for the Meat item is "Eat Anyway."

The inclusion of the word "anyway" is what makes it. You can just see them hesitantly turning this bloody, unidentifiable chunk of flesh this way and that, grimacing and trying not to think about where it's been, before eventually saying "Fuck it, I REALLY need the hit points," and chowing down.

(If you are Cierra, the skill is "Practice Cooking", which is basically identical to Fia's "Practice Mix" skill. Remember the Healing Herb? Yeah, that one.

As for Fia, she just throws it at an enemy because she's a horrible herbivorous hippy.)

Hey, it's some rubble. Rubble's never steered us wrong before! Let's take a look.

Now this, right here? This is what is technically known as "some bullshit."

What's the difference between having Fia search and getting Ein to do it himself? Answer: Fia finds a Thunder Onyx, a valuable Chappi item.

Ein finds a rock.

Is there any way of knowing in advance what the outcome of either choice will be? No. Can you search the rubble a second time? No.

Hi, we're Sting and we all have a deep-seated loathing of all who play our games!

EIN IS A DICK: In essence, the game's assuming that you've noticed Ein is a dick by now, and is actually encouraging you to have him make a bitch get down on her knees and dig. If you go against its expectations, congratulations, you get the shitty reward.

Not going to touch this chest. Not only is it trapped, but it'll also seal itself after you open it, so you don't even get anything for your trouble.

(We'll be able to pillage its goodies later, though.)

What we are going to do is check out this root.

Can we pull it out? It's in the way.
...and you think that dragging it out of the stone will be easier than just stepping over it?
Team spirit!
If we work together, we can do it!
what are you doing
don't do that

We can overcome anything with the power of teamwork! TEAM SPIRIT!
OK. You know what? I'm gonna go ahead and pull it, just to demonstrate that you are wrong and stupid.

HURRRRGH! spirit?
Sorry. The team spirit's been exorcised.

(doing this raises everyone's strength by the way I AM NOT JUST WASTING TIME HERE)

Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking right now? 'Cause what I'm thinking is "giant omelette."

Taking the egg, as you might expect, gets you an "Egg" item. It will have five charges. Please keep that in mind.

Now, you'd imagine that it would make sense to take the egg, assuming you don't think too hard about how Ein's supposed to carry the damn thing. After all, what's breaking it going to accomplish? Nothing. It's a senselessly violent act that will deprive you of a useful item. Yes?

If that is an adequate summary of your thought processes right now, then congratulations; you are thinking like a rational, intelligent person.

And as I've pointed out before, you really need to stop doing that.



------NEW ITEMS------
Egg: Support item. Only good for throwing right now.
Flame Whip: Whip-type weapon. Fire damage.
Lightning Bow: Bow-type weapon. Lightning damage.
Meat: Support item. Restores 30% HP...then poisons you.

------NEW OVER SKILLS------

---LEVEL 1---
Demon Flash
Item: Ogre Blade
Effect: Single attack, power of 172.
Target: Nearest Enemy
Additional: Unblockable. Low accuracy.

Lightning Arrow
Item: Lightning Bow
Effect: Single attack, power of 131.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: Piercing.

---LEVEL 2---
Triple Blue
Item: Ice Javelin
Effect: Three-hit Attack combo, power of 88.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: Unblockable.

---LEVEL 1---
Freeze Edge
Item: Ice Javelin
Effect: Two-hit Magic combo, power of 66.
Target: Front row.
Additional: Not-Vit.

---LEVEL 2---
Bore Arrow
Item: Lightning Bow
Effect: Three-hit Attack combo, power of 72.
Target: Enemy with lowest HP.
Additional: Extra damage to air enemies.

---LEVEL 1---
Applecot Spiral
Item: Applecot
Effect: 45% HP damage.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: Piercing. Removes all remaining Applecots from inventory.

Yes, you are reading this correctly. Lina can kill people with fruit.

Icicle Edge
Item: Ice Javelin
Effect: Two-hit Magic combo, power of 94. Ice damage.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: Piercing. Removes all remaining Applecots from inventory.

Ogre Impulse
Item: Ogre Blade
Effect: Single Magic attack, power of 130.
Target: Nearest Enemy
Additional: Unavoidable. Low accuracy.

Red Cyclone
Item: Flame Whip
Effect: Three-hit Attack combo, power of 76.
Target: Random enemy.
Additional: Also damages Lina. The lower Lina's HP, the more damage inflicted.

---LEVEL 2---
High Claw
Item: Harpie Talon
Effect: Three-hit Attack combo, power of 87.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: The lower Lina's HP, the more damage inflicted.

---LEVEL 3---
Trinity Spark
Item: Lightning Bow
Effect: Four-hit Attack combo, power of 91.
Target: Random enemies.
Additional: Extra damage to air enemies.

---LEVEL 1---
Flare Burst
Item: Flame Whip
Effect: Two-hit Magic combo, power of 114.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: Unblockable. Low accuracy.

---LEVEL 2---
Item: Ice Javelin
Effect: Three-hit Magic combo, power of 74.
Target: Front row.
Additional: Ineffective against air enemies.

Wild Tear
Item: Harpie Talon
Effect: Two-hit Attack combo, power of 120.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: The lower Serene's HP, the more damage inflicted.

---LEVEL 3---
Serene Blast
Item: Ogre Blade
Effect: Four-hit Attack combo, power of 68. Ice damage.
Target: Front row.
Additional: Unblockable.