Part 18: Revenge of the Elendians
here have an update why don't you
A fateful reunion with Ledah only reminds Ein of his duty as a Grim Angel. But things have changed since their time in Asgard.
As his mind races back and forth, Ein begins the long journey back to Elendia.
Do we really have to go all the way back to Elendia after every mission? Why can't we just head straight to the next place?
We won't know where the next place is until we check with grandfather.
Sounds like you're eager to finish this, Serene.
What? Well, yeah. I guess. But the big problem for me is that this downtime is so boring. What do you people do for fun in this place?
Oh, there's plenty to do. You can take a walk through the forest, or meditate in the Grove of Repose, or study in the Magic Guild...
No, see, I said "fun", not "soul-crushingly bland crap."
Why don't you come along with me? I usually spend this time talking to everyone and finding out if they'll trade me anything for all the junk we picked up.
Come on, let's go. It'll be a good chance to bond.
FUCKING GILLIGAN CUTS
Hey Claude! We picked up this page from a book in Tetyth. I thought you might find it interesting.
Uh...I'm fine for porn, thanks.
It's not porn, damn it!
So what's your word for drawings of naked chicks, then?
It's a sketch of a goddess! And anyway, that's not the important part. The point is, this is an excerpt from eons-old literature. Who knows what forgotten lore lies within?
Let me take a look. You got this from the library in Flaybell Cathedral, right? The one with all the golden statues?
Right. The books were too big to bring back, so we decided we'd just take one page.
Yeah. Sorry man, but porn is exactly what this is. The whole library is nothing but ancient Tetythian erotica.
...you're kidding me.
Nope. Why do you think the gods destroyed the city in the first place? Because the Tetythians were keeping the world's biggest smut stash on sacred ground, that's why. Not to mention that it was smut featuring the gods. In all honesty, they were kind of asking for that flood.
("Very artistic", Ein?)
Although...on closer inspection, it does look like someone's jotted down the incantation for a magic spell, in between what I can only pray are coffee stains. Give me a minute and I'll make a copy of that for you.
Alright, here it is. Now take note, this is a one-time spell. In other words, you can only cast it once. Uno. No more than. Try it more than once and what'll happen? It won't work. Because you can only cast it once. Is that clear?
Good. Here you go, then.
Yes, he seriously tells you (albeit with not quite so much emphasis) that you can only use the spell once, immediately before giving you a scroll with three charges.
I can only assume that he's been smoking his hair.
Huh. I wonder where Ritz got to?
OK. Come on, Ritz. You can do this. No more digging. No more crystals. No more food poisoning. Just...one little jump, and it'll all be over.
Damn it! DAMN IT!
Oh well. Now's our chance to filch a few crystals. Yoink!
That's something I'd expect from Lina, not you.
(Trust me, give it a few months and you won't put anything past him.)
Where is Lina, anyway?
Just so we're clear, I'm supposed to be hitting the applecot, right?
(In order to receive the Diamond Teardrop, you must have captured the Amberets in the previous chapter and released them in the cavern.
Butterflies. You can't do shit without them.)
Say, let's go to the spring and fill our grail up!
Oh no. Please. I don't think I can take this much excitement.
Afternoon, ladies. How are you doing?
Oh, it's you. Ein, isn't it?
Right. I only remembered because, rather ironically, Meute will not shut up about you. I almost preferred it when she was quiet.
I just don't want you getting the impression that I'm not completely indifferent to your existence, that's all.
Then why.......are you building.....that shri-
shut up no i'm not shut up
Look, I'm just here to get some water. Don't mind me.
See you around.
.......he does know.....that I live....in that water.....right....?
I would imagine so, yes.
No no......I mean.......I live......in that water.....
Oh. I see. Yeah, he might not know that.
Hey man. Ya bring me some swag?
I sure did. We found some mithril chunks in Tetyth.
Cool. Been a while since I've had the chance to work with this stuff. Hand me that Thunder Blade. This'll only take a sec.
(If you have a rapier-type weapon in your inventory, you can instead opt to have Chappi make 50 Holy Sabres. But we don't, so we didn't.)
There you go. Enj-
...whoa. Wait a second. What's that you're carrying?
What, this thing?
Yeah, that! That's a Diamond Teardrop! How the hell did you manage to get one of those?
I just stumbled across it in the caverns about a minute ago.
No kidding? Ritz must have been holding out on me. These things are harder to find than a sea urchin's tits. Tell you what; you leave this with me and I'll be able to make an awesome spear out of it.
Yeah...only problem is that it's gonna take a while. Got a lot of other commissions going at the moment, and it's a long process as it is. Come see me once you're back from wherever it is you're going next and I'll have it ready for you.
Wait, what? What good will that do us? There's only one Accursed left to go. Once we get back from this trip, we won't NEED a spear, awesome or otherwise.
Sorry lady, but that's how it is. Lot of people looking for weapons besides you, you know.
So prioritise us, then! If anyone complains, send them to me and I'll set them straight!
Look. Chappi delivers when he damn well says he'll deliver. I'm not gonna fudge my waiting list just because it might possibly make the end of the world a little less likely. From what I can tell, you've been doing fine so far anyway.
It's OK, Serene. Don't worry about it.
No, it's not OK! Listen here, shortstack. We're out here busting our humps trying to save your sorry hides. The LEAST you could do is make sure we have decent gear, when we need it.
Just because you're little doesn't mean I won't kick your ass all the way back to the Shire. Either you start working on that spear right now, or I'm gonna start working on some nice new hobbit-skin boots. Got it, Bilbo?
...say that again.
Uh, I'm just gonna, uh, go and do...do things. Bye.
One more time.
BILBO! BILBO BAGGINS! HE'S ONLY THREE FEET TALL!
Hey Mursya. I brought something back for you.
Nya? What is it, nya?
I'm not gonna eat it, so...
Oh. I see, nya. Because I'm a cat person. And cat people just love fish, don't they, nya?
Oh. Absolutely, nya. Mmm. Fish. Yummy. What a treat, nya.
By the way, I've got this friend? He's a black guy, nya. Maybe next time you go out you could bring back some fried chicken and watermelon for him.
Wait, that's not what I-
You xenophobic bastard! And what, I'm too damn stupid to be able to be able to get food on my own, nya? Dumb cat people don't know how to fend for themselves, is that it?
Hold on! I didn't mean it like that! I'm sorry, OK? It was an honest mistake. No need to have a hissy fit.
It's nice to have a chance to relax and take in the scenery after so much fighting.
Indeed it is.
How are you finding Elendia, anyway?
Oh, it's lovely. I never would have imagined that such a small village could be so...diverse.
I'm glad to hear that. I can't help but wonder how Ein's fitting in, though.
You think he still hasn't adjusted?
I'm more worried about how everyone else is adjusting to him. You and I tolerate him, but not everyone is as patient as us.
Oh, I'm sure he's-
Clear the way! For God's sake, clear it!
I AM GOING TO FUCK YOUR RACIST ASS UP NYA
...you were going to say "doing just fine", weren't you?
Yes. I'm not sure what I was thinking.
After much chasing and yelling...
...so you see, he really didn't mean anything by it. He's just a little bit, erm...
i am ein
...like that. He's just a little bit like that. I apologise if he offended you. I'll try and keep a closer eye on him from now on.
I understand, nya. Sorry for losing my temper with him. Here, give him this from me.
Thank you. I'm sure he'll appreciate it. You have a nice day, now.
You too, nya.
You owe me big time for this.
No more weight jokes?
For starters, yes.
Hey guys! I think I might have just killed Reiche.
Wait, do you want us to be concerned, or...?
No no. Just thought you'd like to know.
Well, since Ein was preoccupied, I decided to go and speak to grandfather myself. It seems our final destination is Mireno Cemetery.
Yes. It may be the oldest burial ground in Riviera. It has long been a tranquil resting place for the dead, and it hasn't been disturbed for centuries. So...could we please try to show a little reverence?
Whatever. Hey, I wonder if it has zombies?
I bet there'll be a few rich folks who got buried with their valuables!
(Well, at least you're still in that blissful phase of hoping that, someday, asking nicely might actually work.)
Oh, hey Serene. Did you and Chappi have a nice talk?
Just shut up and hand me a Potion.
What ghastly ghouls await our heroes in Mireno Cemetery? How long will I be able to go without referencing Thriller?
Tune in next time to find out!
Cheer Bell: Support item. Reduces enemies' Rage gauge by 75%.
Clene Met: Misc. weapon.
Effect: Raises Agility in exchange for HP.
Target: All allies.
Effect: Single Magic attack, power of 562. Lightning damage.
Target: Back row.
Additional: May inflict Dazzle status.
Holy Water: Misc. weapon. Effective against undead enemies.
wait did that there count as referencing it