The Let's Play Archive

Riviera: The Promised Land

by Didja Redo

Part 20: Mireno Cemetery, Part 2

So apparently I'm fine and my body just decided to go all sore and icky for a change of pace. Here is your scheduled update!

So can we go, or...?
MY face isn't stupid.

The names of the Six Great Priests of Mireno are eternally engraved in the Ankhs. Their hands opened the Holy Land; their names sealed off the path. Until the Six Priests meet again...

Alright. We've got a lot of ground to cover and a lot of stuff to collect here, so let's not waste any time.

Well. No more time than usual, anyway.

We'll head south first.

I feel like we're being watched...
Ein! Above you!


Russian vampires!

(Hey. Leave me out of this. I'm here to make scathing interjections, not actual conversation.)
Wait. I think they mean ME.
Now come! Reap their souls and come to my side. Give their lives over to Death!
So that means Serene... a vampire?!

This is a rare instance of your party members being dicks. At first, everyone's all "OH NOES SERENE IS A VAMPIRE!" even though they know damn well what an Arc looks like, and that she has never drank anyone's blood or sizzled in direct sunlight or engaged in any kind of vampiric behaviour whatsoever.

So basically they're just mocking her. And, I might add, showing a callous disregard to the fact that the whole "last of her kind" thing might be a bit of a sensitive issue.

And god help Ein if he chooses to join in the accusations, because not only will Serene get upset, but everyone immediately does a 180 and reprimands Ein for being such a jerk.

But hey, that's all moot. We know the score. Serene ain't no dirty vampire and we wouldn't care even if she was. Option 3 it is!

Serene ain't no dirty vampire. And I wouldn't care even if she was.
But Ein! The demons who obviously do not have our best interests at heart said she was a vampire!
Surely you can't be suggesting that they are either lying or mistaken?
...OK, apparently everyone went and turned into idiots when I wasn't watching? Either that or you're intentionally being dicks.
(One way or another, you're obviously rubbing off on them.)
Allow me to set everyone straight by way of logical discourse.

Wow. Brevity, pithiness, AND a double entendre? I'm convinced.
Me too.
The veracity of those points has yet to be established! That is a bald assertion fallacy!
I've got a fallacy for you. It's called "Argumentum ad falx in facie."

"Winged Foes"? Kind of phoning it in there, aren't we? What's next, "Hostile Enemies"? "Several Opponents"? "Bad People"?

Goodness me. Three enemies that all happen to be extremely vulnerable to holy damage, and us here with this shiny new Holy Sabre and other assorted holy-based equipment?

No prizes for guessing how this battle's going to go.

The irony is that your "fallacy" was, in this case, a perfectly valid means of proving the premise.
Isn't it always?

Of course, once again, our devastating efficiency is made somewhat meaningless when a chest appears containing exactly the same item we won but with more charges.

Moving on!


Don't you have anything to tell me? "You should respect the dead" and all that?
Why bother? You're still going to steal it, no matter what I say.
What, you don't want it anymore?'s just not the same unless someone's yelling at me not to do it.
Thanks, Ein!

Cierra, please inform Ein that I have no intention of stooping to his level.
Um, I'd love to, but...

Christ. You people have issues. And this is coming from a half-crazed, undead necromancer fuelled by hate.

As always, physical damage is to be avoided when dealing with elementals, but that really isn't a problem for us anymore. One swing from Einherjar and another from Silver Moon is enough to put both of them down before they can really do anything.

Unfortunately, this results in us getting nailed with Gelt's Break Out, which is no joke. Heavy damage with a chance of freezing, and he's quite happy to spam the shit out of it if you're too enthusiastic about attacking him.

He is vulnerable to holy damage, though, so get a decently powered Disaresta fired off and it's all over.

So his book is important enough that he'll dig his way out of his own grave to protect it, but not important enough to have it buried with him? Instead he takes something by this "Kirie" person? What's going on there?
I think that's awfully sweet. He valued his magical research greatly, but in the end, it was Kirie that mattered to him the most. Perhaps Kirie was an old friend of his, or a long-lost love. Or maybe they were bitter rivals, but once Kirie passed away, Gelt realised that although he hated her, he also respected her, and ultimately deemed her work more worthy of preservation than his own. Whatever the case, I believe there's a story here that we're not seeing.
Or he was just a dopey twat who got the books mixed up.'s like you're some kind of living black hole that only sucks in nice things. It's actually quite fascinating, in a horrible sort of way.

It's kind of dawned on me that, despite how much I rave about books being awesome, I don't think I've actually used one in a battle yet. That's going to change soon, though! I promise!

I don't see any traps on this chest.
Not that it ever stops us anyway!

...what are you all looking at me like that for?
Well, not to criticise you, but...first of all, we've only found one chest down here so far and it didn't have a trap on it, so what you just said is incorrect. Secondly, even if all the other chests in this place do have traps on them, how would you know that?

Er...yes. Those are both excellent points. Now that you mention it, I have absolutely no idea why I just said that. Sorry.
It's the final dungeon. The tension's probably just getting to you.
This is so embarrassing.
Do my ears deceive me? Surely Miss High and Mighty isn't saying she made a mistake.
Yes, I am. Because unlike some people, I'm mature enough to accept it and admit to it when I am wrong.
Yeah? Well if I was wrong as often as you are, I'd be used to admitting it too!
Please stop fighting, you two. It's getting very tiresome.
You call this fighting? I haven't even started yet!

(Should we be killing them now, or what?)
(I'm thinking that if we stand here and keep quiet, they'll end up killing each other.)

Oh look! Another battle consisting entirely of enemies that have their shit wrecked by Holy damage! And here we are with the shit-wreckingest Holy damage book in the game!


On to the next screen we go.

Because it's a graveyard. Where would you prefer them to hang around?
The point is that they shouldn't be doing it at all. What's the point of coming back from the dead if you're just going to loiter around and piss everybody off? Get a job or something!

We'll be coming across a lot of tombstones down here, and they all basically follow the above formula. "Here lies whoever, priest of whatever, above someone in something, below someone else in something else, here are some monsters, beat their asses, thank you very much."

As if it weren't obvious, this is part of a puzzle that will be popping up later on, and I have to say, it's pretty cool that these guys were thinking so far ahead. I mean, if these epitaphs had just said something like "Here lies Iduna, beloved husband and father, sorely missed", we'd pretty much be in the shit, wouldn't we?


Mr. and Mrs. Mage are both vulnerable to lightning damage, so Cierra can tear them up with the Book of Gelt while Ein and Serene work on the skeleton.

(NOTE: Don't ever put Cierra opposite Mr. Mage. He tends to attack the character furthest from him with ice magic. Cierra happens to be susceptible to ice attacks and she WILL end up getting frozen, which is extremely annoying and will probably screw you out of your S-rank.)

One well-placed Disaresta later...

We're going to be needing this ankh (and its counterparts) in order to progress through the dungeon, but it has the added bonus of boosting everyone's Magic stat.

Unfortunately, there are six to be collected in total, and as I said earlier, they all basically follow the same formula. Now that I've done one, there really isn't anything to say about the others, and I'd just end up using a truckload of screenshots and making this update far longer than it needs to be. So let's just pretend we've already collected them all and focus our attention on non-ankh related shenanigans, shall we?

It looks poisonous. We should avoid it.

Well *I* think it's probably safe to touch it.
Fine! See if I help you once you get a faceful of lethal toxins!
If it means having to listen to you, I don't want your help!
So I suppose I'm going to have to be the one who points out that this is quite obviously one of those sentient, man-eating plants we've fought in the past.

Oh hey, so it is! I would never have noticed.

Choosing to mount a surprise attack basically just means you have to fight it, so let's not do that. Much more efficient to have one of the girls handle it.

You get an affection boost from whichever one you choose. I guess it's supposed to be because you're showing faith in their ability or whatever, but I think we all know that Cierra and Serene just like being asked to burn/slash shit.

Well, these things aren't budging.
This looks like an ancient seal. We should be able to break it by finding all the switches that control it.
Oh. Goody. Because one "Find all the gubbins to unlock some other gubbin" puzzle just wasn't enough.
Cheer up. You got to use the word "gubbin", at least.
Heh. Yeah. "Gubbins."

These stakes (there are others) are important, but I'm going to choose "Ignore" just this once, since it'll allow us to get some Serene affection.

I'm not interested in stakes.
What are you interested in, then?

Wait a minute. What the fuck is THIS? A protagonist taking a simple, honest and refreshingly direct approach to a love interest in a JRPG? None of this endless shy stuttering, can't spit it out, will-they-or-won't-they bullshit? Just...coming right out and saying "I like you"?

This has to be some kind of mistake. Let's find out.



Anyway, now we can pound it in...

...and that removes one of the fangs from the seal. At least that lets us know we did something right!

Well, it couldn't hurt to check!

actually knowing this game it probably could hurt quite a bit but what the hell

Oh you bastards! We've been looking everywhere for that thing!
suck iiiiiiit

I do not wish to resort to coercion, but that emblem is not rightfully yours. I must insist that you hand it over immediately.
Not rightfully ours? It was in a treasure chest and we found it! That means NOBODY has more of a right to it than us, you hoity-toity fruitcake!
You heard the lady. Walk away right now or we're gonna find out what happens when I ram a scythe up your weapon triangle. be it. You leave us no choice. Prepare for battle, everyone!

Aight. Which one of you gangly fuckers is Hector?
I am!

*I* am Hector, and this is MY HOUSE.

Um...on reflection, maybe it's not that important?
I agree. We'll just be leaving, then.
oh lord eliwood i am aflame with unresolved sexual tension
Shut up, Ninian.
No, wait! Come back and we'll kiss it better for you!

Those guys are so lame.
Word. Well, I gotta get back to scheming. Good luck with your dungeon and shit.

And there's our second stake. There's only one more to go now, but...

...come on. Are you seriously telling me that we couldn't just walk under that?

This chest contains either a Thunder Chain, Black Scythe or Holy Sabre.

Alright. All stakes pounded, all ankhs collected. Now let's take a look behind that fang door and then get the fuck out of here because this is the worst goddamned area ever and I am so very, very tired of seeing it.

Another chained-up sword?
This one is probably cursed too. I'd advise that we don't take it.
You would.
Alright, that does it! I'm sick of you taking jabs at me every time I try to be helpful! If you're so determined to ignore my advice then perhaps I just won't bother giving it in future!
Good! Keeping your mouth shut and sparing our ears from your endless shrieking is the best thing you could possibly do for all of us!
You insufferable...
Both of you shut up! You're compromising the integrity of the party with your arguing and I'm sick of it! The way you're behaving is an absolute disgrace!
Have you both forgotten the reason why we're here? Have you so little respect for our cause that you're willing to risk undoing everything we're fighting for, just to indulge in your stupid, pointless, CHILDISH bickering?! You will NOT do this anymore! NOT WHEN THERE IS LOOT TO BE HAD! UNDERSTAND?!

Alright. You two can fight all you want now.

Actually, give it another couple of minutes.

I hope we've all learned by now that only one enemy to fight means "Disaresta, ASAP." Unfortunately this dude has a lot of hit points, so we're going to have to let our Overdrive gauge build up a bit so that it's strong enough to kill him.

That'll do it.

Well, that takes care of that. Shall we go?

...nothing. You're right. Let's...let's go, then.
Yeah, let's.

You know...even though Lina wasn't thinking any further than the next treasure chest, I think she was still right about what she said. We shouldn't be quarrelling like this. Not when there's so much at stake.
...guess not.
Looking back on what happened, I suppose I did overreact just a little bit.
Yeah. So did I.

 we maybe go back to not hating each other quite so much? Just for the time being?
What do you mean? I never hated you.
...what, really?
Well, yeah.
Well...could we go back to being neutral towards each other?
...alright. Friends, then.

Told you I could get them to make up.
Alright, so you're not entirely dead weight. Good for you.
I'm impressed. I thought you were just a relentlessly avaricious kleptomaniac, but it turns out you're actually a relentlessly avaricious kleptomaniac who happens to know a thing or two about interpersonal relationships.
Well, relationships are a lot like looting.
How so?
Bypass the defences, grab everything you can get your hands on, run away laughing.

Black Scythe: Scythe-type weapon. Physical damage.
Book of Gelt: Book-type weapon. Lightning damage.
Book of Kirie: Book-type weapon. Holy damage.
Fire Emblem: Support item. Raises fire resistance.

Kiku-Ichimonji: Misc. weapon.
Effect: Eight-hit Attack combo, power of 120.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: Not-Vit. The lower Fia's HP, the more damage inflicted.

Phoenix Wand: Staff-type weapon. Fire damage.
Silver Moon: Scythe-type weapon. Ice damage.
Thunder Chain: Whip-type weapon. Lightning damage.


---LEVEL 1---
Flame Bind
Item: Phoenix Wand
Effect: Four-hit Magic combo, power of 119.
Target: Random enemy.

Freeze Flash
Item: Silver Moon
Effect: Single attack, power of 379.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: Low accuracy. Unblockable.

Schwarz Flash
Item: Black Scythe
Effect: Single attack, power of 320.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: Low accuracy. Unblockable.

---LEVEL 3---
Blazing Rose
Item: Fire Emblem
Effect: Seven-hit Magic combo, power of 77.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: Piercing. Not-Vit. May inflict Heat status.

---LEVEL 1---
Blitz Rune
Item: Book of Kirie
Effect: Single Magic attack, power of 232.
Target: All enemies.
Additional: Unblockable. Unavoidable.

Hellig Rune
Item: Book of Kirie
Effect: Single Magic attack, power of 291.
Target: All enemies.
Additional: Unblockable. Unavoidable.

---LEVEL 2---
Carmine Cutlass
Item: Phoenix Wand
Effect: Six-hit Magic combo, power of 113.
Target: Back row.
Additional: Ineffective against air enemies.

---LEVEL 1---
Deity Bane
Item: Black Scythe
Effect: Single Magic attack, power of 237.
Target: Front row.
Additional: Unavoidable.

Plasma Spin
Item: Thunder Chain
Effect: Three-hit Attack combo, power of 116.
Target: Random enemy.
Additional: The lower Lina's HP, the more damage inflicted. Also damages Lina.

Item: Silver Moon
Effect: Single Magic attack, power of 281.
Target: Front row.
Additional: Unavoidable.

---LEVEL 2---
Blazing Light
Item: Book of Kirie
Effect: Four-hit Attack combo, power of 199.
Target: Random enemies.
Additional: Unavoidable. May inflict additional holy damage.

Electric Thunder
Item: Book of Gelt
Effect: Four-hit Attack combo, power of 154.
Target: Random enemies.
Additional: Unavoidable. May inflict additional lightning damage.

---LEVEL 1---
Bolt Gash
Item: Thunder Chain
Effect: Two-hit Magic combo, power of 173.
Target: Nearest enemy.
Additional: Low accuracy. Unblockable.

---LEVEL 3---
Serene Nightmare
Item: Black Scythe
Effect: Six-hit Attack combo, power of 122.
Target: Front row.
Additional: Final attack only hits nearest enemy. Extra damage to human enemies.

Serene Almighty
Item: Silver Moon
Effect: Seven-hit Attack combo, power of 136.
Target: Front row.
Additional: Final attack only hits nearest enemy. Extra damage to human enemies.

---LEVEL 1---
Fire Resist
Item: Fire Emblem
Effect: Raises fire resistance.
Target: All allies.

---LEVEL 2---
Innocent Sphere
Item: Book of Kirie
Effect: Single Magic attack, power of 424.
Target: All enemies.
Additional: Unblockable. Unavoidable.

Thunder Beat
Item: Thunder Chain
Effect: Five-hit Attack combo, power of 102.
Target: Front row.
Additional: Not-Vit. Extra damage against beasts.

Thunder Storm
Item: Book of Gelt
Effect: Single Magic attack, power of 337.
Target: All enemies.
Additional: Unblockable. Unavoidable.

---LEVEL 3---
Item: Phoenix Wand
Effect: Seven-hit Magic combo, power of 163.
Target: Random enemies.
Additional: Last attack hits all enemies.

it means "argument from scythe in the face" ok