Part 8: Mass HysteriaAlthough there were no puzzles last update, LoreOfSerpents went above and beyond trying to solve one. The solution looks correct, but I didn't see it until after I already prepared this update, so that will have to wait until next time. Sorry about that, but it'll probably be worth the wait.
The masses have clearly spoken. We are in need of salvation!
There's a whole lot of blaspheming going on here, so let's ask for forgiveness in the Lord's house.
Those are... unique wall murals for a church. We'll take a look at those in just a moment.
I believe we have business with this little box. If we use the key we found under Richard's car...
Who makes a donation of ten cents. Come on.
Now let's turn our attention towards the pulpit.
This must be what the preacher feels like every Sunday.
Clicking on the screen up top pulls it down and shows us a video.
I have the sudden urge to put on a monochrome body suit and go pilot a robot.
Anyway, how about those murals.
I think the preacher in this town has some serious issues to work through.
We can't really check out that middle one any closer than this. That's as close as we can get to the hymns board, too, but the numbers are: 174-41-71
Wait, if the camera is back here, who turned it on earlier?
I think if you took a four-year-old to this church, he'd just start crying immediately.
That's as close as we can get to the other pictures, sadly. However, there is a door back there for us to check out.
This must be where the preacher
Empty drawers and some shoes.
Neat idea! He places a small square token in his shoes with the size written down so he doesn't forget.
A drawer with a thing in it! We've struck gold!
And here's the checkbook that Shadowed Bacon was asking for. This actually goes into our flashback menu, so it's obviously of utmost importance.
Two drawers with things in them! It's a miracle!
Looks like we picked up another of those stone things.
I should have known. The church has to make its empty drawer quota somehow.
Since we're in church, would it be in bad taste to make a joke about hell freezing over?
Sadly, we can't actually pick up the dynamite.
"...desperate to get away from you. It would serve you right if she ran off with that guy that's been staying at the motel all summer! Oh, and you can forget my coming to bingo night, too. Everyone knows you cheat. They just haven't said anything cause they were afraid you'd curse them with the wrath of God! Well no more!"
Aunt Pearl brings the beatdown. Except, I don't think priests can actually cast curses. ...except maybe in JRPGs.
Wait...Oh god, Darkcloud is the preacher, isn't he? It's always the church!
The preacher has been bad and needs to go to the
"...gas station. I know you have to work all the time, but... Oh, the weirdest thing happened. My parents just up and disappeared. Mid-life crises or something. Well, call me back."
Yes, the entire town is just having a bunch of mid-life crises. Including the kids. They'll figure things out, buy a couple cars, and then things will return to normal.
So far, I am not at all disappointed with today's episode of People Being Dicks.
I feel greasy just listening to that.
Now let's play our favorite gameshow: You Didn't Want To Inspect That Anyway.
I think we won a popcorn machine.
On the far side of the room is a ...
You know, between the video and the church background music, I'm beginning to think there's something to this up-down-in-out business. ...wait, that didn't come out right.
That looks like the most boring movie ever.
...and the expected bahos puzzle at last.
The rules are much more straightforward than actually solving the damn thing: align the numbers in order from one through eight. Doing so successfully opens the lid on the bingo chamber, allowing us to grab the bahos inside.
Shivers 2: the puzzle game of choice for OCD sufferers everywhere.
Can't get anything from the vending machine.
"Check under the windowsill"
We might be able to find quarters at Phil's store.
The literal key to "the truth" is under Burt's trailer.
Who is Darkcloud?
Find something to use on the candle.
We have some kind of triangle code thing.
Find something to use on the gas pump.
Find four chess pieces.
There's (not) an unsolved picture puzzle in the cemetary.
What do the directions in the church music and Spell It Out mean?
With the obvious choice out of the way, I expect at least a six way tie.
Savings & Loan