Part 15: Bonus 5. The Burn Ward
Bonus 5. The Burn Ward
Every year at Snow Bird Mountain, ESPN-4 hosts "The Women's Ski Lodge Insult Competition" Being that I'm very quick witted, of course I decided to compete.
The reigning champion was Alex. It was time to take her down.
Danny - being the only person here who claimed to be funny - officiated.
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I won't tell people my weight! BECAUSE I AM A GIRL WITH A VAGINA.
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What about Bespian? Like people from Bespin? What an asshole!
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Round 1. Fight!
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Dag. What to respond with...
Pepper spr-
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What the fu-
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At least she gave it back. It looks like this would have to be won with words.
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I went with Brett's favorite rejoinder.
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Oh yeah?
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Patware posted:
File her nails and make her pretty. I will not rest until nails are filed.
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Aw, that was nice of her to say-
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I'll show her!
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Oh yeah?
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Shit. Shoulda seen that coming.
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Well?
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Ha!
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How much more of this was there?!
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Twenty-five years? Oh yeah. Alex is at least in her early 40s. Forgot to mention that.
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Well, if I said:
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Gasp! ...Then she wouldn't do anything.
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I couldn't let that happen. It was time to take it to the streets!
And by streets, since there were no roads in Colorado, I meant nature trail!
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I had to pick a bunch of adjectives and a noun for this!
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I got it on the first try!
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Yeah! Straight from the fridge!
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Then I walked back in to receive my prize from Danny.
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I could open a fucking zoo at this rate!
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How this scenario plays out:
- To win the dove, you have to clean sweep it. Alex runs off in that case. Get 1 wrong and you still win and Alex challenges you to take it to "the streets". Get more than 1 wrong and you lose, but you can challenge Alex out to the streets.
Winning on the streets actually gets you nothing. I just presented this scenario to explain why our inventory now has a magic dove.
Incidentally, you can nullify one wrong guess in this scenario by kissing Danny - and do the opposite by punching him.
Either way, win the dove and he calls you a jackass.