Part 16: Chapter XI. The Perfect Girlfriend (Me)
Chapter XI. The Perfect Girlfriend (Me)
I am dating Conor and things are sooooo awesome! We're totally going steady and everything! It's great! I started cutting out pictures from magazines that kinda look like him, it's awesome! Awesome!
I'm so excited!
Conor invited me over to this swank party, with his best-friend and my boss, Elliot! Elliot was bringing Thailand (Leanne), and I begged Erica to keep me company, but made her wash her hands.
There was only one thing to do:
I had to win over Elliot and Thailand so that they would approve of me and also keep Erica from getting antsy and making a scene! All too easy!
But who should I talk to first?
So, I walked over to mingle with Thailand.
Yikes, she was in a bad mood.
Being that I'd already maced her before, I decided to show her my magic dove.
And my hedgehog.
Wanna play a game?
How's it going?
Dillemas scared me.
Er... I dunno!
Make sure you touch him very casually.
Be sure to ask him lots of questions about himself.
Keep him wondering about if he's getting a goodnight kiss.
Wait! This advice was terrible! What was I thinking? If I did this, then...
Yeah... I had to advise her to play a trick on a guy (yeah... seriously), and ask him lots of questions about himself and talk about herself!
So what do you think?
Wanna play a game?
Wow. I would like to personally apologize to everyone south of the Mason-Dixon. Jesus, I'm insulted by that! Sprung, it's not a third-world country!
So you're Asian... and from the South?
Didn't you say you were from Mississippi?
It's a word game.
Kill me now.
I love New Orleans. Just thought you all might like to know that. Or ya'll. Whatever. "Hey slowbeef, why not just skip this dumb puzzle?" Because there's one part of it...
Actually, New Orleans itself is like a different country.
Hmmm... that one is pretty easy.
I'm stumped on this one.
How'd I do?
Ugh. The Asian thing and the Louisiana thing were enough to put us back in the red.
So I calmed her down by giving her a banjo and some moonshine out of my aunt's tub. Southerners like that sort of thing.
And she gave me - what else? Hot sauce.
So I went over to talk to Elliot.
We tried the gas on Elliot. Over the phone, anyway. But it's no different here. The rest of this is pretty effin' boring, so...
I gave Elliot my Nintendo DS.
I love video games! Wait... what kind of game is this? It's just people interacting with each other? Why would I want to play a game where I actually have to think? I hate thinking!
So he gave it back. Anyway.
What have you been up to?
Hanging out with Conor.
Was he up to old tricks? I had to play this just right.
How about after this?
Going home to sleep.
Cool. So what's the situation with you and Conor?
We're just dating casually.
Interesting... how much time do you two spend together?
Every other day.
And you're serious about the relationship?
You like him?
So you're good to my boy?
Sorry for bothering you.
Phew. Crisis averted... almost. Time to talk to Erica.
Can you please just stick it out a bit longer?
Do I have to?
Fine, I'll stay a bit longer.
Finally, to talk to Conor. We had a brief "Did both of my friends like you?" "Yes." kind of back and forth, but nothing Earth-shattering.
Yay! A watch and...
Shopping! I love that!