Sprung (Brett) Part #20 - Bonus

Part 20: Bonus - Proxy Dumping

Bonus: Proxy Dumping

I awoke the next morning and decided to grab a bloody mary at the bar to start the day.

I have to break up with Thailand. Will you help me?

Wait... weren't they only dating like a day? And how could I help?

By the way, thanks for watching me and Kiki in the hot tub!

*hsssss*

Okay, besides that, how could I help him?

Also, I gotta put Herr Roboto's image in the OP. That shit was hysterical.

Break up with Thailand? Are you a fucking idiot?

Something was amiss here.

No way.

I overheard her talking to one of her girlfriends.

Really?

Okay, I heard it from K.

Really?

Oh D!

Danny!

Violating her privacy like that was a no-no in my book. (How'd he even get at her diary anyway?) But, he continued.

Dickbag's so rich, Dickbag's so hooked up, Dickbag's got such a big head... ...of perfectly sculpted blonde hair.

I couldn't help but pity him.

But I never dumped a girl before, I don't know what to do!

Suddenly, I decided to hypothesize what would happen if I didn't help D.

I helped hook up you two - there's no way I'm helping breakup you two.

OK, I guess I can do this by myself.

A few hours later...

Uh... I happened on D and Thailand in the bar. I suppose. Unless I just hung out in the bar and... I don't know. It's hypothetical.

I think we should see other people.

No, but I was supposed to...

I'm real sorry, honey. You take care now.

But...but...

...Well, not really, but... ugh. I guess I had to help him. Even though I mean, I couldn't really have changed that situation... oh, whatever.

Since this is a bonus round, this is actually NOT Game Over... even though you can get Game Over in other bonus rou- why am I trying to explain this bullshit?

Don't worry, I'll help you.

Thanks, Brett. You're the best. Now the first thing I can't decide is whether to be nice about it, and still be friends, or be mean.

Why be nice? She was gonna dump you! And after all the trouble I went through!

...Well, no, Danny. Technically you said that earlier when you asked me to hook you guys up.

Wow, he's a freakin' mind reader.

OK. Mean it is! Watch out, Leanne, here comes D the heartbreaker! Next, I'm not sure whether or not to do it in person.

I've realized you're a gold-digger, and I've got nothing to... dig.

Whoa, are you sure about this?

And I can't believe I ever wasted my time with you.

Okay, I'm ready... I guess.

(Need I really ask?)

Alright, then... I imagine it would go something like...

D and I were just sitting at a table practicing our "talk to girls" poses, when...

Guess who it was!

Thailand. And she was pissed. D looked scared and I decided to do the smart thing and just stare at nothing the whole time.

You yellow bellied... no count...

(Isn't it "no-account"?) And then she hit him!

Ow! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

She stormed out, then.

Thanks for the advice, Brett.

... Should I tell him to go through with it and get on with our lives, knowing that was the most likely scenario? Tell him to try it in person to see what would happen? Or try something else entirely?

You know what... you guys are right! D has been pissing me off this whole trip! He owes me $380! He kept me from meeting with B! I've had it up to here! I'm gonna make sure Thailand claws his motherfucking eyes out.

A real man does things face to face.

No, you're right Brett. In person. And what should I say?

I told him to let her have it about being a gold digger and a waste of his time!

A couple hours later, Thailand walked in and I decided to watch the fireworks.