Part 14: Closing ThoughtsAlright, for all two of you that have been on pins & needles waiting for answers to your questions, here they are:
On Historical Inevitability - I tried this out in Mission 10, using FUTURE TANK to secure the 650 KomradeKoins needed to fire it off. Any enemies you target with it are simply erased from existence. It works in a small area, and could be useful in clearing out super-dense concentrations of bastards like the last few missions have...if Stalin's Falcons didn't exist. If you don't need things dead like right fucking now, you can just spend almost a third as many SocialistScrips to just saturation bomb the hell out whatever it is. A horribly overpriced power of dubious use.
On Losing the Last Mission - Sure enough, once Mega Stalin is summoned, you cannot lose. He counts as one of your units. That last mission might as well be another terrible cutscene.
Now, let's put the final nail in this coffin.
I've had some time to reflect on this game, to digest everything I went through with it and mull it over. This is, without a doubt, one of the worst games I've ever played by pretty much any metric. The gameplay is far too simple for an RTS, relying too much on random luck for success and frustrating enemies for challenge. It's full of bugs, from bad pathing to invisible effects to mission triggers failing. The graphics are low-res and ugly, and the sound design is appalling. There's very little content, and nothing to do besides the campaign. And worst of all, a huge amount of assets are simply stolen from other products.
That all being said, it is only one of the worst games I've ever played. It is certainly not the worst game I've ever played, nor is it the game that I hated the most. It is simply very, very bad, and offensive only in its plagiarism. It remains a functional game, and one that at least a (depressingly) small amount of effort went into.
I'm pretty sure we can all agree that this game was pulled from distribution only three months out due to legal concerns. There are arguably worse games on Steam in terms of quality, but none that I'm aware of that make such blatant use of copyrighted material. Without that particularly damning factor, this game might have stood as some horrid indie darling, just as other games have here on SA.
As it is, Stalin vs. Martians is a testament to the very lowest levels a developer can sink to in terms of creativity and effort. It should exist as a warning to all of the destructive forces of apathy and laziness. If this LP can improve even one life by drawing attention to this incredible failure, then my work here is done.
Once again, I thank you all for joining me on this odyssey into wasted potential. I hope you enjoyed it and maybe, just maybe, learned a little something along the way.
My name is Zombie Samurai, I like you.