Part 17: Women are from Venus

ABANDONING THIS LP















































April Fools

Chapter 16: Women are from Venus


Well, I was dreading this part. But I guess we're gonna have to do it eventually.


"fire. So how did all of them get caught?"
"Uh, because magic is useless in this game?"
""


So if you haven't figured it out yet, our plot contrivance for today is that all the children have been kidnapped and it's obviously our job to save them because everyone else in this village is a wizard, which makes them fucking useless by default.


Well, let's get this over with.






well that explains a lot

You'll notice a dude with blue hair is sitting at that table. That is Knox.


So some bandits kidnapped all the children in this village. They want some magic book and some dollaz.


Actually, you know what, I don't care.


Bitches, this is your fuckin' problem.


And their children NEVER CAME HOME

All right let's get to Herlie and never come back to this ass continent ever.


A DRAGON!!!!!!!


noooooooo

Well I guess we better go save that dragon. Sorry, guys, I know you were looking forward to me finally advancing the plot, but that isn't going to happen today.


Yes, because everyone knows that a dragon's favorite pastime is picking up chicks in bars. This is the modern, legal alternative to stealing them off of their balconies.


But there's only dudes and some fag with pink hair here. I guess we'll have to look elsewhere for it. Unless, y'know, that's how it rolls. Not that there's anything wrong with that.


no geese we have not

you shut your lying mouth

--oh. Well that's actually a very clever plan to get us in.




So I'm still trying to understand this. They knew this dragon was here all along, and it was just chillin', but all of a sudden, they want to get rid of it so they can have the land.

man this is just like the hawaiians




"How the fuck should I know?"


"And why the fuck isn't he getting into random encounters?"


Anyway, we finally catch up to him and--


oh no we're too late


You mean like, get a bag of popcorn or someshit?

Yeah, yeah I'm down with that. ZeeToo is just full of good ideas today.


Shut up, Geese.


Geese, I just fuckin' told you-










You're supposed to close them, you tardbag.




"Uh. I don't speak anime. Come on guys I'm serious"


"Hey, I don't speak dragon either--oh fricken hell"


I like how he doesn't even seem to be all that surprised here.


Well actually, that was kind of the point...


Wait, you mean like, take responsibility by having you join our party?

Well, let's think about this.

CONS:
• Easily distracted
• Seems melodramatic
• Pushy
• Kind of a perv
• Probably super-low level

PROS:
• Dragons
• ... Uhh


Well that's not a very hard call when you think about it.


What? I didn't sign up for an exorcism, they're the only reason you're in my fucking party


Yes, yes, pleased to meet you, uh


VALVADOS

He looks so depressed. Also, he has 0 Intelligence.

yeah sorry jefepato but you don't even post in this thread, this faggot wrote a fucking limerick for it


He has some starting talents. He can never unlock Sense of Design if he doesn't start with it, so I guess that's just not gonna happen.

Okay, let's get ready to leave.





"Yes we will call them Purple Dragon and Red Dragon. We are leaving now."


"Well aren't you creative."
"I'm not the one with 0 Intelligence."




"... Actually, I don't think we're on speaking terms with him."