Part 18: I Feel Pretty
yeah that's enough discussion about such things
Chapter 17: I Feel Pretty
Well, we should be out looking for a way to exorcise Red Dragon and Purple Dragon, but we're busy doing other things:
Like PAs in Arlia.
A mangled mistranslation of the Philosopher's Stone, perhaps.
Valvados needs his pockets picked.
He needs some other stuff too I guess.
Is it a bad thing that these two are the least terrible characters in the game, most likely due to the fact that this is the only thing that they say?
Yes, yes it is.
The Salamander Helmet is an accessory. It is not especially great, but it's unique equipment. The price is also equal to about 80% of your current Fol, so look who's laughing about breaking the game wide open now.
Okay, now for something else in Salva.
"The nude bust over on the left"
"Heheheh we're so juvenile"
A sapphire ring might match Billy, but the only sapphire for me is Bombay Gin.
Valvados, you sure know a lot about fashion. Is there something you need to tell us?
You apparently get different prizes for choosing different jewels. I was stupid and went with the Diamond. I should've gotten the Emerald, because it gives you an Emerald Ring, which reduces MP consumption and is hard to get before leaving this continent.
i made a rhyme
Anyway, since we're here in Cross, let's go visit the king. I'm sure he's just tickled that his son is going to marry a prostitute.
He grants our request. It is clearly a clever ploy to get us killed.
The Mountain Palace is in the middle of HELL
This is a wonderful little dungeon full of rooms that look exactly the same. This is a very lazy design method, and very good for making a dungeon very confusing to the player.
This corridor, which looks exactly like five other corridors in this dungeon, is set apart because it has a save point. Which obviously means
Treasure and boss time.
I don't even know what the fuck.
Now I don't know if Billy is trying to be smug or what, but honestl--
I hate succubus enemies. They are programmed in such a way that all physical attacks have like a 90% chance of not even connecting with their fucking hitbox. Not even a stat-based miss. Now I know you want to make a tough enemy, but shitty programming is not how to do it.
I am so tired of shitty games with their shitty pseudophilosophical bullshit.
Why is Japan obsessed with this? The only games in recent memory that don't do this are like Lost Odyssey and... well, I can't even name more than one. This is a country that makes animated porn of underage girls getting violated by magic incest tentacles, who the fuck are they to preach about moral compasses.
dragons are not misfortunes
do you know how much it hurts to hear that vados
it hurts as much as it does when your parents tell you that you were just an accident
In Tennessee obviously
Or maybe that place where we grind levels.
Oh boy, this isn't ominous at all.