Part 43: Update Forty One: Super Mario Mongoose
Last time, on Super Mario RPG, we entered the final dungeon, I acted like I was smart and we beat the living shit out of a gigantic alarm clock. Today, we're exploring a bit more and fighting another boss.
We start out with taking the trampoline that spawned after Count Down's defeat.
That trampoline will take us back; I have no intention of leaving, as I've done everything I care to do in the other world.
Conveyer belts are going to be seen quite often this update. Mostly they serve as obstacles (as they so often do).
Approaching this first conveyer belt, we see an old face slide off the upper one, right toward us. We can dodge it, but let's pretend we're too surprised to react.
Axem Red, Pink and Green? I already destroyed these guys!
They've been severely neutered from their first appearance, though. Machine Made Red here only has 180 HP, for example. His weaknesses and resistance are still what they were, but these guys are no longer the threat they once were.
The Machine Made Green can mute your characters, which he did to Geno.
And Machine Made Pink uses Petal Blast and can still restore enemy HP. Is it just me, or does it look like Geno has blond hair when he's muted? I'm sure it's just the light reflecting off his wooden head, but it looks like he's got some serious blond locks back there.
No, Geno, you are the mushrooms.
Pink here has a mighty 100 HP.
Bowser drops this robot chick like the pimp's in the crib, ma.
Machine Made Green actually has less HP than Pink; he only has 80 HP. He's got Meteor Blast and Flame Stone, too, in addition to physicals.
The rewards are much better for these weakling ass clones than the real deal. The next few areas are wonderful places to grind up levels.
The chest up top is a full-heal Mushroom. It's green flash is welcome here.
Jumping on this platform makes it move forward. It crosses paths with a platform from the other side and we cross over.
The platforms move back and I leap over, as I am impatient.
Another group of Machine Made Red, Green and Pink.
It gets Bowser to level 26, though, and a +3 to Magic Attack!
Geno also gained a level, bringing him up to 27, and he celebrates with +3 to Attack!
Machine Made Axems fall from the sky to the conveyer belt. When they reach the end of the conveyer belt, they bounce into the abyss below.
In the next area, we find our first colored construct in this world.
Jabits have 150 HP, with crap stats. They attack with a self-destruct attack, so take 'em out first.
Joining the Jabit in this battle is the Pounder (180 HP) and the Poundette (150 HP). Both are unextraordinary, except that I find it interesting that Smithy is producing female hammers. I'm sure Freud would have a field day with that. Pounders can drop Defense Up Flowers, while Poundettes can drop Once Again Flowers.
If you're at a normal level when you enter this place (17-20, I'd say), expect to gain a few levels if you're doing encounters as you see them. Enemies here just barf up experience points.
Aww, jeez, not this shit again.
I really wish I had done that on purpose, just for your guy's amusement, but I didn't. I was just tryin' to move on by and took an arrow in the
(
)
The Springer here, in addition to being former mayor of Cincinnati, has 122 HP, and can put a character to sleep. They've got Drain, even though they're upgraded Shysters.
They also drop Once Again Flowers, which I wish more enemies did. I like using a single character to clear an encounter of two to five dudes.
Mack's here, too. The first time through, I think it'd surprise a new player to see several of his old foes were actually all just mechanical constructs.
Ha! Suck it, robo-bitch! Possessing only 300 HP, Machine Made Mack is no match for my forces. Other than that, looking at his script, he looks pretty similar (if not identical) to the first Mack we fought.
Machine Made Shysters only have 100 HP, and they can use Drain. They're about as threatening as they were back when it was just Mallow and Mario.
After getting this, I have the theory this Shyster just hated the last dude that was around and decided to see how hard he could get fucked.
I think that Shyster is looking down from Machine Made Heaven and is just all "
"
Now if the rewards could have been this good the first time around.
If I wanted to, I could just stand at the end of the conveyer belt and wait for Macks to roll off. For now, I decide not to.
More conveyer belts here; if you don't run against the belt, it'll roll you off and down below.
Has there ever been a game with a conveyer belt as an obstacle that hasn't done this?
Now, at first, I was just going to jump off to show you guys what is down below.
This isn't any sort of trickery or SMRPG fuckery on my part. I found an invisible path or something, entirely on accident.
Here it is in action. If someone can explain it to me (and I jumped around like hell around that path, but didn't find anything), I'd like to hear it.
Anyway, down below, there's just a trampoline to boost you back up. Sorry guys, I thought it was more interesting than that.
So, here's a brand new enemy to make up for it! Li'l Boos have 66 HP and 20 Defense. They can either Fear your party members, use Lightning Orb, or die horribly.
10 experience for a single enemy ain't much to scoff at. Now, if I could just get seven or eight of these guys in a single encounter...
Ooh, treasure!
Royal Syrups ain't too shabby.
Another conveyer belt to drop us down. I didn't check for invisible paths around here.
This platform takes us over to the other side.
If we hop on that platform, it takes us back. This place is very easy to get around.
On the other side, there are more Li'l Boos.
Max Mushrooms are always nice to get. Especially with this party, as I have no other methods of healing, outside of items.
Cross some more conveyer belts, dodge some Boos, and move on to the next area.
Conveyer stairs? Son of a bitch!
Ah, fuck! I hope this asshole doesn't speak.
Bowyer 2.0 here has 1000 HP, and, far as I can tell, functionally identical to his green colored counterpart from way back when.
He still makes derp faces, however.
For how easy these fights are, it seems like they spit out far too much experience. Even were I ten levels lower and without the super-gear, these fights still wouldn't be an issue.
Axem Machine Mades slide back and forth on this narrow platform; jumping over them is easy enough, but if you don't time it right, you have a fight on your hands.
Even though they're all palette swapped Reds, the last fight is with the two members we haven't yet encountered Machine Made versions of.
Black and Yellow are hilariously weak. Yellow has only 200 HP, and Black has 120 HP. Their Attack and Defense is very similar to the boss version of these guys that we fought, but since they can now be one-shotted, it's nothing to worry about.
Seriously, now, can someone explain to me why when I fought the five of them, as a boss fight where I also had to drop a Goddamned laser cannon, I only got 17 experience? It's not like I'm far enough ahead now for it to be that they don't want me to be too powerful; it's like deliberate douchebaggery on Square's part.
Another set of stairs, another Bowyer Machine.
Just a small room with a save point at the top of the stairs. We're not quite done with this update.
For there are still Ninjas to fight!
Honest to God, ninjas. They have 235 HP, with good Attack and shit Defense. They have 28 Speed, too, which means only Geno is naturally faster than they are.
I bet I could take Ryu Hayabusa.
When they're defeated, they have a counter where they wing a shuriken at somebody. It's hard to see, but it's sailing toward Bowser.
Y'know, if you'll think back (or go check the update), we got an entire 12 experience when we defeated Mack. Just think, back then, that was actually a pretty good chunk.
There's a small path off to this side, which we'll explore before moving on. And yeah, that is a Yari-Bot squatting on a box over there. Ain't no thang, really.
There's a boss fight coming up, folks. A real one, not just these Machine Made Mooks.
Yari-Bot here is the only one you have to fight to move on; the rest can be avoided.
420 use Lazy Shell erryday
Ahem. Sorry 'bout that folks. I just re-read Crowetron's Parasite Eve LP last night and I've had that stuck in my head.*
We leap down the hole that was cleared by destroying the Yari-Bot. What dangers await?
Oh, okay. It's just a pair of...Clown jester thingies? Fuck, I'm clueless as how to describe these two.
Actually, you just put the trap on the only path forward; that's not so much me taking the bait as it is me just wanting to continue forward.
For some reason, I firmly believe that Domino is a girl.
It won't take me that long to kick your ass, Domino.
I'd like to Let's Play!
Jesus, I'm terrible.
Cloaker here, as I'm sure you can tell by his big ol' sword, is a physically inclined boss monster. He's got 1200 HP, 180 Attack and 130 Defense. Other than that, he is pretty unimpressive stat-wise, but he does a fair amount of damage with his attacks.
Domino, on the flip side, is magically inclined. She's only got 900 HP, but 120 Magic Attack and 150 Magic Defense. She's just a hair faster than Cloaker, and has 80 Defense. She's got Flame Stone, Blizzard and Lightning Orb.
I decide to focus on Cloaker.
Oh, Bowser. I'm glad you have my Lazy Shell.
Could someone explain to me how accuracy works in this game? I've never really considered it before.
There's a good chance I was more concerned with the episode of the X-Files I was watching when I did this fight, as opposed to paying attention to the fight itself.
Maybe I should have given Geno the Safety Ring. Oh, well, too late now.
After a couple more attacks, Cloaker falls.
Excuse me, bitch?
defeat me!
As much as I wish I could kick one bosses ass hard enough to make his partner flee, this is not the case.
Even if she did flee, I firmly believe this crew would hunt her down.
Aww, man, now I wish Ben Grimm could join my party.
Domino hops on top of the Mad Adder. They don't fuse into a single entity or anything, but it does bring the fight back to two bosses.
Domino has a few more spells now, but her HP and stats haven't really changed.
That's barely even a light and it's certainly no beam.
I think it inflicts Sleep or something if it hits.
This is Bowser hitting Domino, by the way.
And that's the end of Domino. No, really, that's it. Her 900 HP doesn't mean shit to me.
The Mad Adder here has 1500 HP, with similar stats to Domino. See, this boss fight is an interesting one; whichever one you kill first, the partner runs off and links with this giant snake. The snake then takes on the partner's inclinations; Mad Adder is magical, as was Domino. He has plenty of spells, as she did, with access to Storm, Water Blast, Boulder, and Sand Storm.
This ends up dealing 272 damage; Mad Adder takes damage like a friggin' wuss.
This only did a tiny bit of damage, but inflicted Fear on Geno. I knew I should have given him that Safety Ring.
Oh, well.
It's too late now, as I did a good job of whipping Mad Adder's ass.
He also figured out that Geno is the vulnerable party member. Clever bastard.
But, another attack ends this fight; Domino is fading away, as bosses do.
At the final attack, the snake crumbles and passes on. There's one detail here that I didn't mention before and I'm not sure how many of you noticed it; if you look in the background, you can see just how massive the snake is. Its body stretches all the way back and curls around some of the pillars around.
It's a small kind of detail, but really cool, I think.
And with that, we're dropped off here. Literally, we just appear right here. Is this a new area? Did the snake shit out that trampoline upon dying? Or what?
Either way, next time, we'll head into the final final area here. Stay tuned.
Bonus Videos
Remember how I mentioned that Cloaker can link with the snake?
Well, I wonder what that looks like.
Remember those Yoshi Cookies I have? I wonder what they're like!
*THANKS ASSHOLE I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS!