Part 42: Update Forty: Clang Clang ClangLast time, on Super Mario RPG, we steamrolled through two different gauntlets of enemies. This time, we're going to be exploring the first part of the final dungeon. So, let's get this show on the road.
If there's one thing to notice about this world, it's the absence of color in a lot of the manufactured things. Unless it's a more unique type of item, it is devoid of color, and thus, devoid of life.
It's just so industrial, almost alien here; even the music invokes a feeling that we are now strangers in a strange land. We're truly in an alien world, which may help explain their willingness to invade our planet.
Even their methods of moving across a simple gap bring about feelings of mechanization. We're truly in a xenophobic world and this time, we're the invaders.
We have come here to destroy, to kill their leader and prevent their continued existence; we don't even know why they've come to our world.
Okay, okay, enough of that faux-analytical crap. I'm sorry. It's just this place is kind of strange and it really feels out of place in a Mario game.
The hell is that blue thing on the ground?
Oh, God, it's alive!
And adorable! Ameboids here have 220 HP, with 1 whole Defense and 1 Speed. Their Attack is only 130 and I believe they can also poison you.
I feel kinda bad about this.
Never mind. 17 experience and a full FP heal item? Yes please.
Heading to the right, we encounter another one of those cute little buggers.
Whether we had gone right or down, we still come to this area and the exit.
The next room is this large square with a button.
As we approach it to hit the button, it begins to rain Ameboids.
Hitting the button opens a path to the right.
I try and avoid the Ameboids, as the chugging frame rate is finally getting on my nerves.
Save point here, even though there was one about three screens back. I'm not sure why.
This chest is important if you don't get the Lazy Shell.
Mario's ultimate weapon, and it has a pretty sweet animation. That you'll have to wait to see.
Like the Drill Claw!
Hitting that trampoline bounces us up to these nuts and bolts.
Travel here is pretty boring, but the music makes up for it. It's kind of hypnotic, really.
The nice thing, though, is that you can jump off the nut at any time, so you don't have to ride it to the end of the bolt.
Hitting the trampoline on that platform flings you away, toward brighter futures.
I lied. It's just as grey as ever. You can kind of see our next boss up ahead.
As we approach, we see it is a clock and it begins to ring.
The left bell says this, and the right bell repeats.
Just try it, asshole.
Our next boss here is a bigass alarm clock.
And these two irritating jerkoffs. They have 1200 HP apiece, with 180 Attack, 120 Defense and shit stats otherwise. Weak to Thunder, but it'd be unfair to do that to them at this point.
Showing off this God-gear is a great moment for me. Any normal playthrough for me would have yielded these numbers long ago.
The Drill Claw in action. It's just so fucking .
Speaking of sweet animations, I like the Ding-A-Ling's animation for when they're going to use an attack.
Now, this is Dark Star. It has a Magic Power of 160, with the Ding-A-Ling's Magic Attack of 180; before defenses are added in, that's an automatic 180 damage. (OFS gets a shout out here, for posting this information earlier. I hope he has sex tonight.)
The Lazy Shell armor doesn't take any of that bullshit, though. Bowser is effectively in-fucking-vincible.
Honestly, I cannot tell you which shiny star animation I like better. They're both pretty sweet in my mind.
Mario and Bowser don't have to worry about Fear. Geno, however, is still vulnerable to it.
This seems like it should inflict Fear, yes? Well, it's actually Instant Death, as Maple Leaf was awesome enough to inform me. So, nobody here has shit to worry about.
As it turns out, Geno doesn't have to worry about it, either. Awesome.
Count Down finally takes an action. He's slower than shit, with only 5 Speed. He prefaces all of his actions with a time and a message before taking them.
Since the Lazy Shell gives the same elemental immunities that the Safety Ring does, Bowser has no fear. Even without those immunities, the defensive boosts are high enough it'd still be of no concern.
I didn't consider this earlier, since I was already hitting like a truck. But, as The Dark Id once said, I'd rather hit like a bus full of portly Swedish children.
Bowser's damage output has been terribly neutered by the Lazy Shell.
But, I don't think he's doing too badly for himself, considering.
I expected another spell here, but it just tried to physically assault Bowser.
I'm going to miss all of this great gear when I fight the final boss. I really am.
In a reversal of expectations, it casts Recover.
OH SHIT 170 HP RESTORED FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Keep in mind, I horrendously fucked the timing for that.
Geno gets to boostin' himself now.
It tries to inflict
Too bad he didn't have a snowball's chance in Hell.
Geno steps in to finish him off. Now it's just time for Count Down to start ticking down the seconds to his own demise.
He's got 2400 HP, with only 80 Defense. He has 0 Attack, but 120 Magic Attack, with a host of strong spells. If he can reach the proper times to use them, that is.
I think these shots of Bowser and his arm is just a blur are just too fucking awesome. It's like personified.
Eh, you start yours. I'll catch up.
Oh, God! I remember Exor using this shit!
Geno must be suddenly feeling like a douche for all the things he has Geno Blasted in the past.
This just speaks volumes for the importance of gear. Geno only has the Quartz Charm, but that's still quite a good boost. Remember, his Magic Defense is fairly crap, too, so taking that much damage still isn't too shabby. Oh, and he's asleep, too. It's up to Mario and Bowser to finish this.
I bet we can do it before Geno wakes up.
Oh, you filthy whore.
Bwahahaha! Regaining 10% of your HP isn't going to help you. That's just more I'm going to make you bleed.
Bowser landed the finishing blow, which I find appropriate. These assholes invaded his castle, why not let him slaughter the lot of them?
Hey, that's pretty sexy, too!
A save point has spawned to our left and a trampoline ahead. However, we're done for now.
Next time, we'll cover a bit more of this place. We're also going to see a slightly shocking realization, along with plenty more ass-whippings. Stay tuned, folks!