The Let's Play Archive

Secret of Monkey Island

by Clavius

Part 16: Cannonball Head

Dec 23, 2007

Okay, we need to get ourselves a crew, so let's get right to knocking on random doors and harassing people.

Ooooh, Hook Island! Cheaply made souveniers! Restrooms! I am so there!

Now how in the fuck are we going to get over there.

You're telling me we have to crawl over this death-pit of sharp rocks, crashing waves and stunningly rendered sharks to get over there?

Oh wait just a minute here...Cable? Pulley?

Could it be... ?


That was, the most awesome entrance to a tourist attraction, ever.

So that's why everyone has these chickens.

Just stroooll right in.

I don't like visitors! Who are you?

I'm a pirate, cannonball-head. Who are you?

My name's Meathook... And I think you've got a little attitude problem.

His bulging muscles are no match for my chicken.

Well I think you've got a little hair problem.

Geeze! You just don't know when to quit do you.

Oh Guybrush, you card.

Obviously neither did your barber!

Oh shit, Runaway!

It's all fun and games until there's one too many bald jokes and someone ends up buried alive in the woods with a shitty tshirt.

I shouldn't have made fun of him for being follically challenged, now I feel bad...

Plus I really have to take a leak.

Excuse me, but the sign said there were restrooms in here?

Sorry, but that sign's a little out of date. I used to have a thriving tourist business here.

What, no souveniers? But I wanted another tshirt...

But there was a little accident with one of the trained animals... One of our guests was hurt very badly. So I was shut down, put out of business.

Baldness is the leading cause of loneliness in our times. Too bad the Governor shut you down, if you had my luscious locks maybe she'd have overlooked it.

...And the only company I have is the same beast that mauled that unlucky tourist. The same beast that made me a hermit.

...And left me with these hooks instead of hands...

Thanks a lot. Can't you just leave me alone now?

His guard is down! It's perfect!

What was your name again, cannonball-head?

Look, I told you not to call me that...

Okay, now I feel bad again...

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you cannonball-head.

That's okay. I'd rather have a cannonball-head than a ponytail.

Oh it is on!

I meant to call you chrome dome.

You've got a pretty good sense of humour. Want to see something really funny?

Like what, a picture of your whole bald family?

Geeze. You just don't know when to quit do you.

I'm sorry, I was just trying to be funny.

You want to see something really funny? Watch This!

Pretty good eh?

Oh thankyou merciful Jesus.

Alrighty, that's enough bald jokes... for now. Time to get down to what I came here for: bothering people at home.

Hi, I'm from your local Sciency-Not-A-Religion-Truth-United group. Have you been touched intimately by Jesus today? I have.

Take a look at this life changing pamphlet. According to our crack research team, you are slowly dying under the crushing weight of your own crippling depressing and are 175% likely to be mauled by a rabid Yak.

We become overcome with despair and just give up.

That could be the solution.

But no! Fortunately for you, we have a solution for you. Just come with me and i'll get you all set up. We'll just need your credit cards, identity, deed to your home and the soul of your firstborn.

What about me?

YOU? HA HA HA HA! That's a good one.

Hey, I'm serious.



Okay, let's see you prove it. Walk this way?

Ooh, a surprise? I love surprises.

Is it ice-cream?

Something horrible...

It's not ice-cream... is it... Is it?

But I don't mean to scare you. I'm sure a big brave guy like yourself will have no trouble facing this monster.

Oh god.

On the plus side, I don't need to use the restrooms anymore...

Getting cold feet?

No, I just don't know what i'm supposed to do.

You're supposed to open that little door... And if you're brave enough... Touch the beast inside.

Well, here goes nothing.

What horror of satans horrors could possibly be lurking behind this door. Man up Guybrush, there's no shame in death to a beast such as this.


You faced the beast I've feared all these years. You had the guts to do what I never could. I feel like such a coward.

I'm not even good enough to swab your decks.

Oh come on, Meathook.

And then things took a turn for the ...



I can still be on your crew?

Just pack your stuff and meet me at the dock.

Oh thankyou! Thankyou! I won't let you down.