The Let's Play Archive


by Darth Ronson

Part 10: Polka Your Eyes Out - Fungus Mine Pt 3

slowbeef posted:

The animated GIFs help A LOT. The LP was pretty good to begin with, but it's gotten 10 times better now.

Is there any stuff in London or the graveyard that looks better animated?

Only the Ripper falling backwards into the water, and that's it. I've dropped no animation frames with these gifs, the animation really isn't any smoother than it is in the actual game.

Polka Your Eyes Out - Fungus Mine Pt 3

It's back to the minecart, and this time we neatly dodge it, heading into a side passage before it goes back. But not before placing a discarded mine prop in its path to stop it in the right place. There's no clue that you have to do this, but if you don't do this, or if you place the prop in the wrong place, the mine cart blocks certain areas and makes the whole level unwinnable. Way to go, Horrosoft.

'Do you dig girls in jumpsuits? Like women in distressed? Then is for you! The number one premier fetish site for those who get their rocks off to girls in trouble and in coveralls. Here's our premier model Cindy, who's just found herself in a sticky situation down a mineshaft. You can purchase her full DVD, "Totally Shafted" via our online store.'

Or maybe not. In actual fact, this lady is one of three people who were held prisoner by the mutants. After finding the parts of a welding torch we were able to free her, and she agreed to help cure the wounded guy we found in the elevator.

But she wants some kind of weapon to protect herself with. Easy peasy - she can have the shovel. No? How about the pick axe? Or maybe the iron bar we found in the mine cart. No, she wants the sprayer.

'You're kidding right? You want the only effective weapon I have against the mutants? You do know that every other weapon takes at least forty hits to kill the mutants due to this game's shitty combat system? Right? So why the hell should I give you the weapon, and have to use the crappy iron bar? I mean, jesus - take the pick axe, for crying out loud.

I'll just use harsh language against the mutants. After all, if I get killed, it's no big deal, right? It's not like I'm the only person who can deal with my mutant plant twin brother, right? Oh, wait, it is. What's that? I can have the sprayer back when you've healed the man? No, I can't. You know why? Because if I take the sprayer back, you refuse to stay put and start following me. And when I get to the plant chamber, where I have to defeat the evil plant, you refuse to enter until I leave you somewhere safe. So then we go back to the lift, but you won't stay back because you won't accept the sprayer back off me, despite you having begged me for it about five minutes earlier. And so the level's uncompletable.

You know what? Have the sodding sprayer then. I'm just going to walk off to my death. I'll die in this mine, and it'll all be your fault. I hope you can deal with my demise, and the subsequent infection of the whole of humanity. I hope it weighs on your mind and you never have a good night's sleep again in your whole life. Bye bye, YOU STUPID, SPRAYER-HOGGING GAME-BREAKING BITCH!'

You know, she's going to be really pissed when she discovers it's empty because we used the last of the gasoline to fill up the power drill. I guess she should have taken the shovel after all.

We leave the doctor crying her eyes out, and head back to the cage where we enlist the help of the soldier. Having collected a bunch of dynamite, protective suits and so forth from around the mine, we're finally ready to tackle the plant monster. Annoyingly enough, the mutants have started respawning, and as we're stuck with the crappy iron bar, we keep having to retry and reload until each enemy is defeated. But eventually, we reach our target.

Thanks to the protective suit and gas masks we found, it can't poison us or kill us with its spikes. And after poking its eyes out, it can't use its hypno-vision to keep us in place. Leaving the soldier free to rig the mine to blow. The professor, the guy in the elevator who has now fully recovered, gives us an antidote to the fungus/plague allowing us to use it on the electrician. He in turn fixes the broken elevator controls and we're ready to go. Back in the lift, we hit the detonator and are warned we have only a short time to exit the mine. No problem. We just hit the elevator button and..

Fuck. The explosion goes off and everyone stands around nochalantly while we're crushed to death by some awfully well-targeted rocks. Turns out that the safety gates have to be closed for the elevator to move.

And hurrah! Home free - and everyone freaks out as we disappear and are teleported back to the Waxworks.