Part 25: Episode XXIV: Work Time Fun (Forest)
Episode XXIV: Work Time Fun (Forest)
When last we left our heroine, she freed the souls of the dead Rooders and was reunited with her mum. Said parental unit was immediately kidnapped by the Dark Gentleman and Alyssa was banished to the clock tower to reunite with Dennis. Then they teleported to a forest for no real reason. With that said, let's continue...
Right, then. I'm not even going to ask how we ended up here.
Oh, great. Dennis is following Alyssa like a lost puppy. Don't tell me there's an escort mission. I'll close this thread right now.
"Would you stop breathing heavily behind me. It's a tad creepy."
"I've got asthma."
"Asthma?! We've walked less than ten paces!"
"But we did teleport."
"What?! Teleporting doesn't trigger asthma!"
"Do you have asthma?"
"No. That's beside the poi-"
"Have you ever teleported before this?"
"A decent amount of times. Yes."
"Do you know anyone with asthma that has ever teleported?"
"I rest my case."
"Oh! Just come on or I'll leave you here."
"Yeah, sure you will."
"Did I mention I have flat feet too?! Alyssa?"
The two proceed down the dark tunnel.
They emerge in a non-descript city street with a small hospital just ahead.
"I thought you said you were working in Africa! Not just the west side of town."
"That's not very appropriate... Besides..."
I might be wary of a sea food restaurant opposite a hospital...
"I'm sure of it! Linda!"
"Wait, Dennis! I don't think shape shifting has been used as a plot device yet, but I'm not putting it past the writers. Dennis?!"
Dennis rushes into the hospital. Far too eager to see his sibling, if I do say so. Alyssa chases after him.
The pair discover the place is abandoned and ransacked. With a few corners of the room covered in blood. This doesn't deter Dennis from rushing headlong down the hall.
Let's look at the facts here: Have any of the happy reunions, that didn't involve stairways to heaven, gone well?
"I couldn't leave you in that house any longer. I'm here now. I hope you like chores."
It sure is a good thing Dennis felt compelled to tell us that his sister had gone away to Africa for six months earlier, or this scene would be disjointed. You can't have that in Clock Tower, now can you?
Oh, sweet Jesus! It's Cher! Run, Dennis! RUN!!
"Watch out? From wh-"
"Oh, Christ! Wet willy! WET WILLY!"
Umm... So, why was she disguising herself as Dennis' sister? Aren't the villains after Alyssa, here? If she can shapeshift, wouldn't it have been easier to just turn into Nancy, have a touching reunion, and bust out ye olde Subordinate chloroform rag? Bam, mission accomplished. But, nope. Fucking with Dennis takes center stage.
Dennis wrestles out of the shape shifter's grasp (well...shapeshifter for this cutscene. She never does it again...)
Between cut shots, the new foe has produced two huge blades. Blades which, were they connected, would be halves of a giant pair of scissors. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, meet the Scissorwoman.
Scissorwoman does the usual rounds of swinging melee weapons wildly at Alyssa and failing spectacularly at coming close to striking her.
Dennis goes in for the assist.
But quickly gets deflected. So...how did the series' staple villain manage to go from a menacing Italian horror villain to...an albino clown woman carnie?
Not taking time to ponder terrible character design, the two kids make a break for the door.
Only to get steamrolled by a speeding hospital gurney...
Yes, a hospital gurney that suddenly has a cackling gay albino clown Scissorman riding it.
Oh Jesus, they're both riding it now!
And the Scissorman is not wearing pants!
And Dennis is freaking the fuck out!
And the clown twins are lovin' this shit!
The gurney stops short and sends Dennis flying into a wall.
At this point Scissorman decides to do a triple front flip. Since, why the fuck not?
"You have some remarkable powers! But, your friend can't dance and if he can't dance well, he's no friend of mine!"
I think this is the official look of anyone playing, watching, or vaguely experiencing Clock Tower 3.
"For you see, we built this city, we built this city on rock and roll."
"After we overthrew the tyrannical Lollipop Guild, of course."
"W-w-why are you doing all this? Why use Dennis? I'm right here!"
"Because it's PEANUTBUTTER JELLY TIME!"
"But... But I'm allergic to peanuts!"
"I'm allergic to muffins and the color magenta."
"I'm allergic to fish and the Irish."
Anyone care to explain to me how the hell Scissorwoman is lifting Dennis up?
"What the FUCK?!"
The Scissor Twins and Dennis vanish in a burst of smoke and caffetti.
"Dennis... You're on your own because Jesus Christ..."
Tune in next time for:
A Cutscene of MADNESS