I would have laughed at "Fruit of Power" if I hadn't just woken up. I mean seriously.
 Yeah, I aint falling for that shit twice.
 RELEASE MESIA SHE IS IMPORTANT TO ME.
 VERY WELL YOU HAVE EARNED A VIGOROUS STABBING.
 what the hell you mean that actually worked for once? Fuckin' a. MEET METAL DEATH.
 oh shit I killed her.
 oh okay never mind.
Boss Battle: Sabera
It took me three times to kill her, which is actually the first time I have died in this game. I need to pay more attention during my killing.
With all of that out of the way, I exit out of the castle through the big hole trap and head back into Zombieland. Which, coincidently, is no longer full of zombies.
 Thank you. Because of your valliant effort, we are released from this curse. I don't know how to thank you... We will rebuild now...
 Thank you for saving me. An altar for the Statue of Gold is close to this island.
 I can hold my children with my own hands now... Ooh... I'm so happy...
 Today is the best day of my life. You're great even though you're young!
 "I need to cross the whirlpools, can you help?" seriously, he actually says this.
 A legend says that if the Statue of Gold is placed properly, we can return safely from any storm.
 Ya know, a Glowing Lamp that's said to fix broken stuff, is in the lighthouse.
 Presents. :
Who the fuck is Ralph?
Remembering what Xebu had told me a little while ago in Telepathy:
I headed to Joel. The townsfolk all had important things to tell me now that Sabera was out of the way.
 Good, good, good.
 Now I can live safely.
 At last, our life can return to normal. I can go back to fishing now.
 Clark was safe? That's great.
Yeah. The Elder and his bitches said even less important things, so I didn't bother transcribing them. Anyways, I put on my goggles...
And looked around for a secret passage.
Oh there it is.
How in the fuck did we miss that door before?
And into the dick shaped lighthouse.
Oh boy it's this dick again. At least now I can give him his necklace back. By the way, SNK, awesome sleeping depiction:
Let's wake his candy ass up.
 You know who I am, asshat, we've met before and we've talked multiple times on Telepathy.
This is the best line in the game, bar none.
He then fades away, turning into a chest.
According to some stupid kid, a glowing lamp is said to fix broken stuff.
But what kind of broken stuff??