Part 10: In which there are entendres and curses.
Chapter 08: In which there are entendres and curses.
(Kidd) Let's go visit the castle now that we've finished pottering around town, shall we?
(Lance) Certainly no more distractions here in town!
(Kidd) Whole lot of cats around here...
(Lance) They regard the cat as "holy" around here. I never really saw the point in holding anything I can call "pussy" in high regard.
Did you come here through the desert? You look a little sunburned.
The pyramid is the Royal grave. Many kings have been buried there with their treasures. But the pyramid has already been plundered by many thieves.
You should stay away from the pyramid. That place is cursed and there are some places inside where magic spells won't work.
There are many traps in the pyramid, so please be careful!
(Kidd) Well, I'll do my best to go two for two in the area of queen satisfaction.
(Lance) In that area, you're only one for two. Trust me.
(Lance) Not me!
Okay, maybe not Lance. But it's not what's on the outside that counts, but on the inside!
(Lance) For you, maybe, but the bits I enjoy...
(Kidd) That's enough, Lance.
(Max) We should leave before he offends the queen further.
(Lance) Yes! Let's!
(Max) Calm down, old man.
... Round buttons open doors. But which to press? First the left of the east... and then the right of the west. Then the left of the west, and finally the right of east...
There's a secret to the pyramid in the songs that the children sing. But I don't understand them.
(JOKEBOT) Scanning party -- Thief not detected -- Secret Treasure Radar Activated -- **Enter the courtyard, then go left after 23 paces. Continue until you reach a wall. **
(JOKEBOT) **Hang a right, and continue forward through a door until you reach some stairs.**
(JOKEBOT) ** Go right, and take the first left you see. You'll eventually come across a spooky looking room full of eldritch fires and a cross. Go down the stairs in that room.**
(Kidd) This is surprisingly accurate.
(Kidd) But here are the stairs, and the treasure's immediately underneath it.
(Kidd) Di... awww.
(Max) Too slow!
(Kidd) Well, yes.
Are you also the one who opened my treasure chest?
(Kidd) Indeed we are.
You seem to be an honest person... Very well then, you may have my treasure!
(Kidd) It's just as well. Even if I doubled my speed, I'd still be slower than Max. Let's go on to the Pyramid. I bet there's something useful in there. Perhaps the Magic Key that we've heard about twice so far.
(Kidd) A cross-passage - I say... left!
(Kidd) This isn't good. This isn't good at all. We've fallen down a pit into a bone-filled basement.
(JOKEBOT) **Secret treasure radar reactivated. Go to NW portion of area.**
(Kidd) Okay, maybe it's not all bad.
(Max) Mummy men are just ordinary mundane monsters. Not too much trouble at all. However...
(Lance) Awwwww... impotence.
(Kidd) Magic doesn't work down here. No healing, no Outside, no Return. We have to actually walk back out.
(JOKEBOT) ** There are two sets of bones in the middle of the area. From the eastern set, go down three paces and search. **
(JOKEBOT) ** Open door with Magic Key. **
(Kidd) We don't have a magic key yet you accursed machine! Well, back to the rest of the pyramid.
(Kidd) There's a whole lot of this for most of the pyramid - after all, many adventurers have been here before us. Of course, not all of them are empty.
(Max) OH FUCK! It's a Cannibox!
(JOKEBOT) CANNIBOX DO THE HUSTLE? NO - IT DOESN'T HAVE DEFEAT FOR IT.
(Max) Ooookay. But that's kinda accurate. The Cannibox does know Beat, which can one-shot any one thing, but it also *can just do so much damage it can kill virtually anyone in one strike as well*. Check chests with caution, but if a thief is in your party, they can check out such things with one of the abilities that they can learn.
(Kidd) Medal #10 - deep within the Pyramid.
(Kidd) Wait, I know this one. We passed two branching passages, each with two little alcoves, each of which contained a button. According to the little kid's song...
(Kidd) Hell yeah! And a Stamina seed... that'll be nice for someone later. Now upstairs to the final treasure chamber!
(Kidd) Many of these are, to be simple, crap. Herbs and whatnot. However, each of them spawns a fight with a group of mummy men. The good ones are...
(Kidd) This includes a strength and agility seed, a Ruby Ring, and Small Medal #11.
(Max) Both horrible enemies. The Trick Bag likes using Surround and similar effects, while King Toads love to cast sleep.
(Kidd) Okay, we've cleaned out all the stuff up top, let's get that hidden treasure in the stupid magic-proof basement.
(Max) This thing is, without a doubt, full of useful, uncursed treasure.
(Max) Who cares? This raises my already wonderful attack score to even greater heights!
(Kidd) However, there is a problem. We get attacked every few seconds. Coming down here, we got into about 10 fights. Going out, we have fights on average EVERY OTHER STEP. We have 55 fights on the way out. And if you die, the claws return to the chest from whence they came and you have to do it again. But if you make it out, you get the second best weapon for Fighters ever crafted. But eventually we make it out, so next time we'll check out some more fun with the Magic Key.
# of In-Game Days: 38
# of Small Medals: 11