14. We're only helpin' one tonight cause I'm lazy as shit and we had a party today for my kid
Hippocrates' apartment light is out now that he's left for the Council Chambers.
Rock and roll.
HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAYYYYY
Oh jeez what do we have here? Explain yourself, Turtle of Britain.
The sea turtle can't talk to Adam while his throat is blocked.
: "I'm gonna try to get that blockage out of your throat. Steady, now."
Adam pulls on the string. Boy! It's really in there!
Well, that didn't help much! The string came off but whatever is stuck in the turtle's throat is still in there!
I figure that animals that know how to talk should be able to NOT EAT SHIT THAT ISN'T FOOD.
Now that the string is gone, there's nothing to pull on and Adam's hand is too big to reach into the sea turtle's mouth. He'll need to use something smaller to get at the blockage in the turtle's throat.
Hey, I have something for that!
I actually did all of this before I helped out Hippocrates. I forgot the order in which to do shit.
: "Let's try this again! Open wide, now."
Adam uses the tweezers to reach carefully into the sea turtle's mouth and grasp the end of the object blocking the creature's small throat.
...okay, I'm going to assume that's a balloon. Please, please tell me that's a balloon.
What in the blue fuck is wrong with your face?
: "That was a balloon I pulled out of your throat! What'd you eat that?"
: "I mistook it for a particularly delectable dark comestible. My error - and a nearly fatal one. My throat, you see, is quite miniature. The rubbery texture of that balloon blocked it completely."
Fortunately, you can hold your breath indefinately I guess?
: "They sometimes find huge whales you've been killed just by swallowing a little balloon."
...okay, I'm probably wrong on this, but I'm calling bullshit.
: "Ah, yes, my equally small-throated brothers. But I get ahead of myself. I'm Erroneous, professor of most of the fish in these parts."
Oh ho ho, he's a professor and his name is "Erroneous"! What a ripping good laugh that is.
: "It's a pleasure to finally meet a human. I've taken quite a scholastic interest in you - as a species, that is."
: "I noticed the flag. I'm Adam, and I actually find animals more interesting than humans - but maybe that's because I am one."
: "Ah, yes. We are often intrigued with the unknown."
: "The Mayor sent me to tell the citizens about a meeting at the Council Chambers."
: "Well I shall certainly want to contribute to that ostenatatious affair."
Jesus. What an insufferable douchebag.
: "But first, let me persuade you to assume responsibility for these four little human objects I found. They might be troublesome if left floating about."
: "Four metal screws?"
: "Yes, their size makes them particuarly likely candidates for swallowing."
I saved your life, and you're giving me screws?
: "I'll take care of them for you."
: "Well, I'll go join my fellow citizens now. Be well, my human friend. It's been a pleasure."
...I saved your life, you douchebag.
I'm taking your fucking flag.
EDIT: Here's talkin the rug! (youtube)