Part 12: The Sewers and Goldor's Mansion.
Chapter 12 - The Sewers and Goldor's Mansion.
First one, what the hell am I supposed to do?
Well here's the first part...
These are the four dudes that think they're legendary warriors.
They're sporadic, kind of like TaxidermistPaste on a skype conversation, minus the racism.
Right! Now the next question was why the hell was my ship chained up?
You'll see that stopping my ship was actually pretty retarded, because I don't need my ship to get to his mansion. In fact, it's preferred that you walk there / take a chocobo.
So hence I'm going into the sewers because some woman down there has the solution to this problem.
I guess she has these.
Oops, I guess you guys weren't supposed to know about what I just said
Whelp. I guess its sewer-surfin.'
As a fan of Napoleon Dynamite, this part is absolutely
Good. Masters are odd in that their weapons go much more obsolete than others. Thankfully their fists take over.
Well, old men, I'm here to save you!
Predicament! Big words for fan translations!
True story here: me and my brother as kids played "fake Final Fantasy" (I was 6 years old at the time) where we pretended to be characters from the original Final Fantasy and shit. Hey, we were kids. These dudes... well, they're like 50.
After letting them go, I come to this part. Them walls look funny.
Right! They're fake. Treasures ahoy! These ones contain fenix downs and I think the other had some other potion.
Here's a thief weapon. It also works like a drain sword too.
Sweet! This adds 5 strength, and Virgin doesn't have a ring yet.
The word lend in RPGs means borrowing permanently in every case. Don't let them get to you.
Yeah? And you live in a fucking sewer. Your point?
Well, turns out them shoes are...
Yeah, not real.
Seriously! I mean, shit, you obviously know these dudes, and they're full of shit. What are the odds that we aren't legit too?
Floating shoes. The most useless items ever! Well, until you need them once.
They be takin' us back.
Really? Otterheads aren't cheap, and considering you low-lifes have nothing else but to intimidate us all day, I'm curious as to where you got that.
Oyster, pay attention to the next scene.
Every fucking game needs this line, except directly pointed at the person playing.
About Goldor. Yeah, let's visit him.
Chocobos being the best form of transportation.
I guess this is that bottomless pit.
Ain't nothin' but a real thang.
Since we're entering gold, I'd figure DarkId can take his chance leading and plundering.
Goldor's Mansion is, well... gold.
The very north room contains lots of shiny swords. No one can equip them. The reason they exist is that you can sell them for money.
This is the only chest WITHOUT shiny swords!
This battle had me laughing because everyone but Virgin got hit by confusion.
And this is why DarkId is leading!
There's 4 rooms in the main area. This one is the only significant one because it has this fake door.
More fake walls here!
Goldor is being a meanie and not sharing
Goldor. Magic attacks are pitiful, which is fine, because black magic was sooo 1990.
Easy. Burnside makes good work of him.
Shit man, there were enemies giving more experience in groups than that.
Hah. Way to go! You did absolutely nothing!
I figured that was the point in you destroying it then in the first place...
I guess this means my ship is free.
Tacos can still cast white magic thank god.
21870 gil for those shiny swords. Not too bad.
Alright. Time to go. This has got to be the most awkward map for an RPG ever.
First stop is this town.
Dastar is a town that's for Geomancers and Bards.
It also has some bitchin' town music for an NES game. Check it out.
Really? Shit, man!
That's all the inspiration I need.
These bards are emo faggots and make you listen to them sing. They basically chose a terrible job in life and have to artistically tell you about it.
There's one last town to hit up.
Not much in Leprit. Minus conjurers, which are slightly more useful than bards - that's not saying anything at all.
They have summons to buy, but it's not worth it if I don't have a conjurer.
Then, we found a Gurgan.
So what the hell is he talking about?
Find out soon!