Part 22: Treachery

Last time on Hyperdimension Neptunia, the party left Lowee and headed for Leanbox. Now on Hyperdimension Neptunia…

I’m paying good money for the chance to insult Neptune more, let’s get this moving.



Ooh, groovy. Looks like a straightforward bounty hunter job.
The Sanctified: This will remedy most of our concerns. The others were taken care of after the current Archbishop got appointed.
Your… current Archbishop? He must be a totally bad dude.
The Sanctified: He is benevolent, but strict. Especially to heathens, heretics, and the Guild. There are those who disagree with him…
But, it is understandable if his actions all stem from a strong faith towards Lady Green Heart.
Plus, he was one of the leaders who suppressed the overpowering Parliament.
I head he negotiated with the Aristocrats to regain the powers the Parliament recklessly took over.
So, he’s all respected and stuff. Gotcha. He wasn’t all that chummy, though. Maybe I shouldn’t judge people so quickly.

So, Neptune and her friends battled the weird headless armor monster and saved the day!



You’d think with all this fighting she’d be in better shape.

Video- “Treachery”

Watch

Yeah, yeah, I’m here! Who is it? Delivery? Room service? Mercenary? Oooh, I’m so excited to open the door I peed a little!
Oh… it’s Mr. Archbishop. Suckitude.
Yvoire: Well, excuse me. You did hear me announce myself, didn’t you? I’m here to deliver a parcel from Lady Green Heart.
From Leanbox’s CPU, eh? Neato. What is it?
Yvoire: An invitation. Considering your last bounty job…
And what the Evangelist told us regarding your journey to save the world…
Our Lady was touched by your bravery and wishes to show her respect and appreciation.
She would like to have a banquet to praise your hard work at her Red Ring Table.
A party?! Oh, yippee-skippee! Party-hardy! We’re gonna get to dress up and stuff our faces with yummy food…
Waaaait! Does this mean we get to meet the goddess?!
Yvoire: Yes, though I cannot guarantee it since she’s been fairly occupied by the monster ordeals.
I’ll go! I’ll go! I’ll bring Iffy and Compa, too!
Yvoire: I’m glad ot hear it. This invitation details the place and time. We’ll be waiting.

Well that’s a trap, there’s no way tits got off her ass long enough to be touched by bravery and whatever other bullshit. And it’s a dumb trap, too, Neptune may be a moron but she’s freakish strong.



What’s wonderific is all this food! Look! They seem normal, but they taste unreal! My mouth won’t stop watering!
…Anyway, there are a lot of commoners here. Where’s the goddess? You seen her, Nep?
Nope. I bet she’s sprinting down from Celestia to thank us as we speak.
How goddess-like. I’m gonna scout around, so stick with Compa. Don’t get lost.
Iffy’s a businessy stiffy. But I should learn from her. We gotta find out about the Key Fragment, too!

Ah, but the Archbishop’s plan was far more nefarious!



Yeah, I know. Well, it’ shard to tell sometimes. Uh, where’s the goddess? She here yet?
Yvoire: You realize the goddess is usually in Celestia, yes? She has a lot to care for when it comes to the human world.
She may not be able to make it here tonight…
Huh? So this is just a big waste of our time? … Ugh, I suddenly feel exhausted.
Yvoire: It’s wonderful to hear you were anticipating her attendance so much… Even if you are a Guild Moderatist…
…I’m not ashamed of it, but you ran a background check on me? That’s only a teensy bit creepy.
Yvoire: So, you are who I think you are. I was uncertain since you are accompanied by some unique companions.
Why don’t we find a good place to sit down and become better acquainted…?

Friggin’ humans always butting into shit nobody asked them to.



Yvoire: This was after our Basilicom’s purge. I hear Guild Extremists fight against the Basilicoms. Lowee’s CPU must have it hard.
…It’s as I heard it. Leanbox’s Archbishop discriminates heavily against heretics and Guild members.
Just because you live in a certain land doesn’t mean you have to worship that land’s goddess. People can choose.
Yvoire: How is that natural?! You were born on Leanbox, yet you refuse to acknowledge Lady Green Heart?
As an individual who receives our Lady’s protection and blessing, I cannot forgive this insolence.
Is that why you tried to kill them? Masking it under something ‘noble’ and calling it a purge?!
But you failed. They all got away and created the current Guild in Lowee!
Yvoire: And now those same Extremists are putting pressure on Lowee’s political leaders. Hmm, enough about other lands.
For now, I’ll turn a blind eye on the Guild’s actions and appreciate this chance encounter.
What’s that supposed to mean? You called me here knowing full well I’m a Guild member. You intend to kill me, don’t you?
Yvoire: Absolutely not. You’re not from Leanbox, but you worship Lady Green Heart most vehemently.

And seriously, this whole plan is pretty weak.



What?! That makes no sense. Why would a Basilicom under Lady Green Heart want Nep out of the picture?!
Yvoire: I cannot tell you yet, but without a doubt, that girl is one of our Lady’s greatest nemeses.
Sooner or later our Lady will punish her personally, but I would prefer to not force her to taint her own hands.
So you want me to do the deed instead? Tell me why Nep is Lady Green Heart’s nemesis! I can’t consider killing her wi-
Yvoire: Upon success, our Lady will personally come to give you official membership as a citizen of Leanbox…
You’ll no longer be a heretic, freely able to proudly worship Lady Green Heart. All ties to those immorals will be cut.
I’m part of the Guild by choice. It’s not just a gathering of immorals like you believe. They worship, just like you!
Yvoire: Isn’t it hard? Hiding your beliefs from people out of fear? Denying your existence? …Ignoring your heart?
Are you not tired of shouldering all that guilt alone?
…
Yvoire: You’ve only known those girls a few months, correct? Your faith and love for the goddess is eternal.
Please think it over. Once you’ve decided the correct path, slip this potion into one of Neptune’s meals.
…I need proof. Show me evidence this is truly what Leanbox’s CPU wants!
Yvoire: As I said, there is nothing I can share with you yet. But, if you insist…
It may be a good idea for you to meet our Lady in person for confirmation.
I’ll organize a meeting for you. It should help you make the right choice.

Yeah already going to call that this plan is never going to come up because this poison shit isn’t really her style.



…

You know I came for the chance to make fun of Neptune but I hate this bitch way more so this is even better.



It’s nice to meet you. I am the CPU Green Heart, the guardian of this pla-aaaah.
…Y-Yes, hello! I’m IF. I’m so honored to meet you… you… are you okay? You look… really… tired. U-Um, I mean…!
I was up late, so don’t think I got enough sleep. Ugh, I feel faint. Could I take your hand?
Oh! O-Oh no! L-Lady Green Heart, can you stand? Um… uh… wh-wh-what should I…?
Do you have a speech impediment? Or are you that nerv-… I’m done for… I need to… Zzzz…
D-Don’t fall asleep! Please wake up! Is there a bed nearby? Back there? Wow, this is unexpected…!
…Most people I meet speak like you at first… but… I don’t like… bald people…
Little boy… no, not there… Don’t shake me… I’ll scratch you up… Zzzz…

She… must work hard I guess?

I’m amazed they got her out of her damn room long enough to entertain a guest.



I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pass out while a guest was present.
I-It’s not a problem! You’re a goddess, so I’m sure you’re busy protecting Leanbox along with the Basilicom.
…Goddesses are born with our powers. They’ll do their thing to protect the planet even if we’re not doing anything.
I couldn’t leave. I was the only one, glowing a bright red. Beginners needed my support…
Leave? Glow? You must be doing things I’ll never be able to understand…
Oh, you know. I’m talking about an online game. Don’t you ever play games?
I had to import it from Planeptune. You’ve been there. You must have seen it.
O-Of course. I saw plenty of game shops on Planeptune. You play games, my Lady?
Oh, stop the formality. Be normal. Of course, I play games, watch anime, read manga… The Three Sacred Treasures!
It gives me more supporters, I think. I was getting bored, though. Everyone was so bad. Fighting games may be tough for them.

I need less embarrassing enemies.



You’re not as hesitant as you sound, I see. I’m glad you’re loosening up. Here, I’m sorry this one’s only single player.
I don’t have a lot of multi-player games. This one’s kind of old, but people love it for some reason. I’ll teach you the rules.
…Um, my Lady? D-Don’t you have something a little less… mindless… than this zombie mall-survival blood fest?
Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot this was rated M, for mature. It’s probably too intense for those young eyes, huh?
Also, stop calling me your ‘Lady.’ Just refer to me as whatever comes natural.
I-I couldn’t do that! I mean, I appreciate your incredibly kind gesture, but…
Then why don’t I start? I’ll call you by your nickname. Does that make it easier, Iffy?
I-I-Iff… I-Iffy…?! Oooh, now… now I’m the one who feels faint…

Wait, that’s where it ends? But that feels like the middle of a scene, this makes no damn sense!

Next Time on Hyperdimension Neptunia: Messenger! The Overlord’s Messenger appears!

This program brought to you by Lady White Heart.