Part 25: Rise of the MachinesLast time on the Jerk Show Neptune actually stuck to screwing up her own land instead of someone elses. Now, on the Jerk Show
After finishing their business in Planeptune, our heroines headed to Lastation. The nefarious Avenir corporation had another job for them.
Hey, youre that funky solicitor who keeps popping up ever since we saved you! Are you workin hard or hardly workin?
Ganache: Its been ages since I heard that. Do I seem busy? Im taking half the week off. Im basically done preparing.
Im so envi- No! Thats against the labor laws. I knew you were a twisted bunch!
Ganache: Well, most manufacturing is done by the machines now, so
Oh, right-o. Your guy hates people technicians, yeah? Most of the work is done by machines, huh?
Ganache: Yes. Anyway, lets cease the gossip and get back to the topic at hand.
This facility here is older than you think. It was already closed down a few years back, actually.
And you just abandon a perfectly good building like that? How selfish. So what are we doing here?
Ganache: There are still some important materials stowed away. We want you to find and collect them all.
We have to give you everything we find? I dont know if I like this job description
Ganache: No, just the items we specify. You can pocket whatever other garbage you find.
Now it sounds like were just getting table scraps. I still dont really like this.
This guy is really evasive on details, I mean this is obviously a trap.
Ganache: Less like items, more like materials. Were looking for a certain type of raw ore.
You want three cute girls roughing their delicate hands looking for rocks?! Whatcha gonna do with rocks anyway?
Ganache: Theyre unrealistically useful. Theyre also very scarce since monsters have started to get in the way of our mining.
Of course, theyre not just normal rocks. One possesses enough energy to power a game console for ten thousand years!
Ten thousand years?! Thats awesome. So were getting something really awesome?
Ganache: Yes, you got it! A lot of our products are used outdoors where power outlets arent an option.
Yeah, it was a trap.
Ganache: What did I do? Oh dear Im sorry. It seems there was some malfunction and the entrance has closed.
Actually, this is all according to plan. Well have you tasty little girls get eaten by the monsters here!
Wh-Whats happening? I hate being in the dark like this. Please open the entrance now!
Ganache: Uh-oh Fine, I guess complete darkness isnt quite fair. Ill turn a few lights on so you can see where youre going.
But, but, but why?! Dont you wanna get the rocks?
Ganache: Really? You seriously believe there are rocks able to power a game console for ten thousand years?
I lied about that to get you all riled up. This job is from me, personally. I used the companys name, but who cares?
Whatd we do to you?! Whyre you doing this? I thought we were kinda like neighbors!
Ganache: I met someone a while back and since then, Ive known about you Neptune.
Youre stalking her, too? Nep, were you some sort of super villain before you lost your memory?
I know Nep-Nep very well, and Nep-Nep has only been Nep-Nep all this time.
You cant be sure of that. I want to trust her too, yknow. I was just joking, okay?
Ganache: Oops, one last thing. This building will explode in a few minutes. Sorry for the cliché ending. Farewell!
What?! Hes gone. What should we do? There are monsters around and we dont know if theres another way out.
Okay, lets concentrate on getting outta here first. Next time we see him, well kick him where it hurts!
Were you listening to me at all? That optimistic, one-track mind is your main weakness and only strength
Sadly I guess they didnt get blown up, because this trap wasnt really for them.
Video- The Killachine
I wasnt giving up. Anyway, I wonder if that guy really thought this was gonna do us in.
Well, being trapped inside a building crawling with nasty monsters is a big deal!
We couldve been a meal for any of them, you know?
I mean, hes seen what were capable of. I doubt he really thought this was going to be effective against us.
Weve made it out safe n sound! What else matters? Were done for today so lets go grab some grub at Chians place!
Look Whats all the commotion? Did something happen?
Chian: Haah, haah Please, help! Avenirs robots invaded my factory!
I guess that jackass was just trying to keep us busy for a while. It wasnt personal, after all.
This is so horrible. Everythings been ruined. How are they supposed to work now?!
He did all this, eh? This is absolutely, positively, most undeniably unacceptable!
I guess you cant get everything you want.
Boss Battle: Killachine
This thing is a real pain in the ass. The Killachine hits very hard and can inflict the Lo-Tension status on you, which makes your abilities cost half AP but do significantly less damage. In order to be safe, you should have whoevers staying out Defend at somewhere around half their max AP. This should insulate you from the otherwise brutal damage youll take in this fight.
Anyway Avenirs killer robot was defeated, but the factory was in ruins.
Chian: Ugh, dammit! I cant lose hope yet. You guys still have the test model I gave you, right?
I wont give up. I swore to myself I wouldnt let anything get to me like when I heard the expo was cancelled.
Oh, yeah, the test model! You can still go to the Expo with this bad boy!
Chian: Of course. So, Im sorry, but Ill have to take it back until after the Expo.
System Message: Chian reclaimed Mech Sword Armas.
Wh-Whaaaat? Aw, why? You just gave it to us like a second ago!
Chian: I said until after the Expo! I cant risk it breaking before then and there are some modifications Id like to try.
Ugghhhh, fine, whatever. Ill let you borrow it for a little bit.
Chian: I dont remember giving it to you to keep yet. I thought it was pretty clear you would get it after the Expo ends.
Can we stop seeing these scenes where I have to be embarrassed by how bad my enemies are at everything?
U-Um, no. I think I can do it alone. Go ahead, Nep-Nep.
You dont gotta be so shy! Youve got like, a totally bombshell body!
Hey, dont grab someones breasts from behind!
Zach: What the?!
H-Hey, who the hellre you? Who sent you?!
Zach: Im Im so sorry! Ive got the wrong room !
He seems kinda cool, though H-Hello, my names Neptune! Whore you, whats your job and favorite kind of pie?!
Zach: Um, my name is Zach Unfair. Im unemployed, but I want to be a game creator. I enjoy peach pie.
A game creator, eh? Sounds like a pretty bright and happy future!
Zach: I hope so. I want to find a job soon so I can start making games like GG7!
Oh. Yeah, GG7 is a pretty good game.
I didnt think youd know about GG7!
I mean seriously they waste more time on random crap than anyone Ive ever met.
Zach: Yes! Its got such an epic, gripping story!
The part where they revealed the main characters past was done so nicely.
Mm-hmm. I agree.
Zach: Oh, sorry. I didnt mean to take up your time.
Zach: Sorry for the intrusion. Have a good night.
What the heck, Iffy?! You two seemed like you hit it off and had a good little chat! Why not seal the deal?!
Sh-Shut up! Its not like that. Just get your rubber ducky and take your stupid bath !
Okay not everyone.
They actually came up with an okay plan this time around, though.
The Sanctuary serves the CPU and goes on missionary quests, right?
Oooh, so if we find em, we might get to bump fists with the goddess directly!
You just thought of that? Well, it doesnt matter because despite my efforts, I cant locate them.
We might have to speak with another heretic to get some answers
You think a heretic would really know anything?
People cant be oblivious to all this information-snuffing by the Parliament. The heretics dont care about that, right?
Girls, its time for work. I heard an old, helpless man is being attacked by creatures outside of town!
Just as earlier they found a heretic willing to talk to them.
Another heretic. Im glad you seem able enough to carry on a normal conversation.
Were looking for the Sanctuary group who got the boot by Parliament. Whatcha know about that?
Heretic: I heard they relocated to Colline, where the old Basilicom used to be
What a convenient answer! So easy! We got all the info we needed right off the bat.
Are you not thinking of returning to the town?
Heretic: Returning? No point. The messenger isnt revealing itself. Weve all been forsaken.
The messenger? Why are you waiting for this person? What will the messenger come and do, anyway?
Heretic: The messenger would have taught us the way to salvation, away from Overlord Momuss clutches but its useless now.
Is there anything else? Leave if youre done.
Its weird how reliable the information of crusty old heretics is.
I heard nobody lives near it. Maybe thats why information was scarce for me.
I just hope someone is really here. This place looks way too haunted for normal people to live
I d-dont see any lights Maybe Mr. Heretic was wrong. I think we c-can still go home!
Dont even think about running away with your butt between your legs! Youve got me here. Excuse us, were coming in!
Yeah, he was dead on.
Whoa! Wh-Wh-Whats up with this? Do we look like bonanza sisters or something?
The Sanctified: Oh, just a few little girls. Im sorry. Were not used to visitors. Are you selling cookies?
No You all seem so tense. Is someone trying to hurt you or something?
The Sanctified: Very much so. Avenirs automated weaponry have already paid a visit to a few of us.
What? Why would Avenir be such a bully? The Parliament got their cake and ate it when they took over the Basilicom, right?
The Sanctified: Theyll never rest until every last one of us are dead.
Even after being driven out, the public eye still believes were part of the Basilicoms system. Oh, come on in.
Also hello, youve been to my Basilicom and its much better than this shithole.
The Sanctified: We remodeled this room. We couldnt possibly welcome the goddess in such a filthy place.
We typically dont use this room for guests, but Ill make an exception.
Question! Is the CPU gone right now?
The Sanctified: Not just now. Weve not seen her for nearly three years. Were concerned somethings happened to her.
So we cant talk with her about Avenir Is there anything else we can help with?
The Sanctified: Wed like the assistance, but we have no solid proof of Avenirs activities due to many reasons.
What about Chians factory? It was totally crushed by Avenir. Thats a whopper of proof!
The Sanctified: The Parliament will go and conceal the entire incident. If anyone defies them, theyll be driven away, like us.
Their military and political might is engulfing Lastation from both sides.
Were thinking of a countermeasure. As soon as we can find a connection between Avenir and the Parliament
We worked with Avenir a few times. I remember a Basilicom member substituted once to explain our job to us.
Oh, thats right. They were saying scary stuff like dead or alive for some monster tissue and stuff!
The Sanctified: If thats true, the equipment made from the monsters tissue could be our proof. If only we could get such a thing.
All those mechanical meanies are Avenirs product, right? Im sure theyll poop one out if we keep bustin em up!
I dont know the odds of such a peculiar drop, but thats the only way to go about this.
It sounds like a lot of work, but if its for justice, Ill do it. Even small efforts can be the seeds of great success!
The Sanctified: Thank you for this invigorating discussion. Well await your return with the hardware and expose those cretins.
Anyway, is this going anywhere at all?
Next Time on Hyperdimension Neptunia: Expo! Yes, this is going somewhere!
Brought to you by Lady White Heart.