Part 50: It’s A Mystery To Everyone

Previously on Hyperdimension Neptunia you all continued messing around instead of going off and stopping Arfoire. Which, which you will do today. Right?
Huh? Um, don’t see that on the agenda.

Video- “Even More Blanc”

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Let’s write.
…
…No. I can’t think of anything.
Maybe I’ll take a break and look at some forum posts on the internet. I might find some interesting ideas there.
…Three hours, already? I replied too many times and got booted due to new user posting restrictions.

Yeah I think we’re still on how awful Blanc is at writing.



I’ll sell this at the upcoming event. Five-hundred copies should be enough.
…What if it sells out? People who are interested but can’t buy one will be disappointed or pissed.
Sucks, but I’ll have to make an order sheet for those fools and send them copies later.
…Can’t wait for the opening day.

It’s not my fault none of you idiots can appreciate my genius. Ah, there, that narrator guy is back.



It’s always like this. No matter how many copies I make, just a few sell.
What’m I doing wrong?
…I think I’m skilled. No, I know I am.
…
…Must be this stupid cover.
A lot of worthless writers use fancy covers to attract the mouth-breathing masses. It’s such a cheap trick.
…
I don’t wanna stoop to their level, but it’s important I get attention too.
People will become my fans as soon as they read and experience my brilliance.
Then more visitors will come to my website.
…Not a bad plan. I must locate an illustrator.

You… you okay? I know she made you read those things, but don’t worry. It’s all going to be all right.



I’ve never bothered to look.
This’ll be a good way to waste some time.
Wha-?! Why the hell’re people acting like fools on my site?! Who the hell did this? I’ll kill ‘em!
…Frickin’ shit! That really pisses me off!
…
I know. Before I delete this… Copy it, and…
I haven’t been there in a while, but the other CPU blog pages are… ah, there they are.
Paste this on their newest entries…
Tweak it a bit… Nice.
Now, go ahead and feel the same unpleasant feeling I suffered.

What? Of course it will be. So, I read through those books, showed them to my producer, and we both agree: we’ve got a winner here!



I haven’t even seen a theatrical play before. What stories do they tell there?
All the actors seem to be female. This sign says they’re the Opera Alliance ‘Hanagumi.’
…Classic.
It says he story is staged in the Taisho era. Hmm? Wait a sec…
…What?
Look. It says it takes place in Taisho 16.
So?
Oh, you’re not as smart as you act. You didn’t realize? The Taisho era ended after year 15.
Wh-?! W-Well, excuse the hell outta me! History isn’t my favorite damn subject. Don’t think you’re better, greasy hair!
Then, does that mean this play is sci-fi?
Sci-fi?!
Staging it in Taisho 16 means they might be trying to portray a world which never was.
…Ah, like a world with no World War?
Or a national tragedy from the country continuing its militarism.
I can’t believe these cute girl actresses put on such a serious story about Japan!
Umm, sorry to ruin the moment, but I heard the number was just put there because the series was running for such a long time.
…
…
Not as awesome now, huh?

What.



Nifty? Uh, not really. I think that’s… the blue hedgehog!
He’s coming to us on foot. I like those red sneakers…!
Hedgehog: Everyone, welcome to Planeptune.
Omigosh, the blue hedgehog talked! Such strange creatures with such attitudes exist on Planeptune…?
Aw, it ain’t nothin’ compared to other lands! Anyway, you’re that hedgehog, right?
Hedgehog: I’ve anticipated your arrival for a long time. Please, try to keep up and follow me!
Where are we going?
…Who cares.
Oh well. He doesn’t look like a bad hedgehog. We can’t turn around now.

Yeah, we’re thinking ten movie deal, full promotion, the works. I mean vampires are huge, werewolves are huge, so vampire werewolves? Can’t fail!



Hedgehog: This is my master’s mansion. Please, wait here.
Wh-Whoa, what’s going on? Why are we getting invited to a mansion, anyway?
Probably because we’re in a party with the goddesses! I’m sure he meant to bring them, but not us.
Only a limited number of people even know we’re goddesses. How would this mansion’s owner know that?
…This could be bad. Neptune, did you piss off someone else from around here?
Huh?! Blaming me, already?! Impossible, nuh-uh, no way! Can’t be!
…You sure? You didn’t do anything? Nothing at all?
W-Well… I can’t really say absolutely not at all no chance ma’am, but…!
Why not?
Wahhh! What do I do?! I don’t want us to get killed cuz of something I did but don’t remember!
Will they strangle us?! Poison us?! Or will the hedgehog munch on us?!
No… I wish I could have gotten all the achievements in all the games in the world before I died!
I wanted to be a famous voice actress!
…What about my Amateur Writer’s Award?
…Amateur Writer’s Award?
…Voice actress?

See, I told you. I’m amazing.



W-We’re so sorry! …Huh? Welcome? …Who’re you, creepy man?
Are you the traveler we met a while back?
Owner: Yes, from when you encountered that hero of destiny.
I didn’t know you owned such a big house. So… you must be really rich.
Owner: Well, I thought about what I could possibly do to help the people of this land after seeing the hero.
I ended up starting a welfare organization here on Planeptune.
From our encounter, I realized helping others is my calling.
Fortunately, the business is a success. As a result, I’ve earned a happy and comfortable life.
Wh-Whoa!
Owner: This wouldn’t have happened without the protection of all you goddesses.
I’ve looked forward to seeing the real goddesses once more ever since. It’s not much, but please accept my gratitude.
What?! You’re givin’ us stuff? I can’t do nothing in return, though…
Don’t waste his kindness and just… graciously accept it.
Don’t forget to really show your sense of appreciation.
Sense of appreciation? Okay, you got it, Iffy!
Mr. Traveler, thanks bunches! Go on, sniff me, nibble me, grill me, bite me… Whatever!
Owner: Wh-What…?
What the hell are you thinking?

Has humanity’s taste really gotten so bad that they’d pay for that drivel?



Hmm, not sure. I do play a lot of games with guy protagonists.
I borrowed one from Lady Green Heart the other day. It was a story based on the Shinsengumi.
Huh. I played a game like that recently. Maybe they were the same?
…Was everyone in it really hot?
Yeah!
The effects and storyline were also great. I couldn’t put it down!
Me neither!
Was the main character around my age?
Nope!
…Huh? Does Okita say something like ‘I’ll kill you?’
Nope. Actually, Okita was the main character.
You control Okita and fight Ryoma Sakamoto and Takamori Saigo!
…I was definitely thinking about another game.

Well they bought our game so anything’s possible.

Video- “Nisa the Heroine”

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Older Brother: Don’t worry about me… You’re not looking so hot yourself.
Younger Brother: It’s my bad. You got injured trying to protect me.
Older Brother: It’s my duty as an older brother. I only did what I had to.
Our reputation is totally in the toilet now, though…
Monster: Grrrr!
Older Brother: The monster?! I guess we failed to shake it. Run, brah! Don’t worry about me.
Younger Brother: No way! I can’t leave you behind. Dammit! Someone… Someone please help us!
Older Brother: Don’t waste your breath. We’ve committed way too many crimes. Any help for us lowlifes would be way too convenient.

That’s a good point.



Older Brother: ?!
Hey, monster! Take this strike of justice!
Monster: Garrrr!
Whew. You guys cut it a little close.
Younger Brother: …Wh-Why? Why’d you save us?
Unfortunately, I don’t discriminate when it comes to people in need of saving.
Even two insignificant peons who mock my appearance.
Older Brother: Listen to that, brah… There’s still someone who’d save us. This world isn’t as ark as I thought.
Younger Brother: Brah…
Older Brother: Why don’t we go back to how it was before our life of crime, brah?
Reach out to the helpless people, just like this chick…
Younger Brother: It won’t be easy, but if we can help others like us… I think it’s worth a shot.
If you think nobody’s there for you, then you must be there for someone else. Others will reciprocate in kind.
Older Brother: Thanks, flatty hero. We’ll never forget those mosquito bites.
Dammit, you ruined the moment!

Next Time on Hyperdimension Neptunia: The Last Battle?! Is it really all over?