The Let's Play Archive

Legend of Wulin Heroes

by Nyaa

Part 9: Chapter Nine: Good Jesus Bad Jesus

This chapter takes like 12+ hours to make(about 3x larger than normal) and special thanks to Vicas for being a Jesus that he is.

Part Nine: Good Jesus Bad Jesus
Music: OP Movie Theme

It’s alright.

When I was young, people told me Wulin is generally under the leadership of Shaolin and Wudong. Since you are from Wudong, your kung fu must be impressive.

Oh, that’s just the populace of Jiang Wu being respectful. Truth is, Jiang Wu is a big place, each organization has its own unique style of Martial art and there are many powerful individuals.

But that Wudong is still famous after all these ages must mean something, and I heard Wudong’s kung fu centers on opposing hardness with softness, is that true?

It is true. Our school’s founder always stresses the importance of opposing hardness with softness, letting stillness dominate movement, and receiving quickness with slowness

But I thought they said their sword is fast; if Mr. Just uses slowness against quickness, what will be the result?

Jesus, you gonna stir up a fight at this rate.

As I mentioned, each organization has it own unique style of Martial art; Heavenly Sword School focuses on quickness that my even my master admires. So it’s not a matter of who will definitely win, but more dependent the user’s ability.

I am so envious of you for being able to study under a famous master and school, unlike me who’s still searching for one.

All these should depend on fate, not something to be forced, and maybe you will meet one famous master right away.

Then I won’t interrupt your breakfast anymore!

Relationship with Simon West dropped 10 points.
Relationship with Swordsman Just increase 5 points.

Here's a rough respond version for Slaan

No need to wait, we will show you what we’re made of now!

Hold on, seventh schoolbrother! Since Jesus’ has such bold motive, I will give you one year and one year just happen to be the Juvenile Hero Tournament. I will join and await for you there.
Jesus’ badasses respond that never happened.


Judging from your conversation, you are senior students of Heavenly Sword School, nice to meet you. I am Jesus.

Jesus? Never heard of you.

Oh I’m just starting.

Go away, don’t bother us.

Yes, anything you need?

1) Nothing, the food is wonderful.
2) I am full, time to go.

You feel stuffed.

Time to give the chef some praise.

Your cooking is good!

Yea? tell me what's good about it?

Not just good, it’s excellence. For example, the fried chicken you made has four marvels.

Oh, then tell me these four marvels.

Shape like Sycee (Silver or Gold Ingot) earns the marvel of shape, the frying to the point of golden honey outer shell creates the marvel of color, adding eight type of spices while simmering it in years old matured soup leads to the marvel of taste, and the evenhandedness of controlling fire temperature to create a well-burned fried chicken that’s nicely sliced to separate meat and bone is the final marvel of cookery.

Good, good, good, that’s a good four marvels you got there, kid. You impressed me and you have talent in the art of cooking, so I’ve decided to teach you how to make Daokou Style Fried Chicken.

You must know that every being in the world needs food; if your cooking is good, then you will make a lot of people happy and they will be willing teach you anything.

Back in the day, I defeated all my rivals with this skill of mine and it’s also how I won the heart of my wife.

It the same thing Jesus describe earlier, also a good chance for me to show you how it originally looked.

Cooking increased, it is now 10.

Time to explore the city more after breakfast!

The pawn shop.

…that’s a really big tiger-skin carpet on the wall.

Do you want to pawn something off?

1) This…how much would you pay for this?
2) Selling any good stuff?
3) Nothing, just browsing.

Let's sell something.

The chess poem Ren gave us worth 500 silver!? SOLD!

All these unidentified junk for our Jesus' eyes to feast upon...but we will have to wait until we have enough money to buy them.

Now I have more shopping cash, let’s visit the herbal store.

You can just smell the bitter medicine.

Hello youngster, you here for some medicinal herb? If you want Caterpillar_fungus, I am afraid we are out of stock.

I wonder why the herb merchant didn’t come for a while.

So all you doctors bought your herbs from the herb merchant?

Yes, most of our time is devoted to visiting patients, so we don’t have time to collect herbs ourselves.

If I found some herb, could I sell it to you?

Absolutely. But, you must first get the sickle from the general store in order for you to collect it in the forest outside of the city.

I understand, thank you doc.

Medicine Skill increased, it is now 5.

Is there anything you need?

1) Doc, I want to purchase some herb.
2) I have some herbs here for sell.
3) Nothing, nothing.

Oh god, all these herbs will be the end of me.

Since most of these only have scientific name and the description is poetic in Chinese medical terms, I will leave out the poor translations except the easy two to preserve it’s purity…unless you are a sadist that enjoy reading Atractylodes macrocephala, Angelica sinensis, Rehmannia glutinosa, Coptis chinensis, Fu Ling, Corydalis yanhusuo, Carthamus tinctorius, fire/heat, water, organs, spleen, etc. many many times.

Cost: 10 Silvers
Valuable herb, helps restore vitality and discharge heat. Good quality Ginseng is human shaped with yellowish tight exterior.

White Atractylodes
Cost: 14 Silvers
Nourishment to Spleen, bitter and damp, warm affinities, promotes blood and chi.

Here's the list of almost all the medical ingredients in the game , so someone with better knowledge or research time can do it for me if they wish. It just 200 kb!

Also, We will buy all of them just for the I.D. boost.

Your Identification skill increased, it is now 31!

That way seems to lead to the end of the city.

Let's pay a visit to someone’s house who leaves the door wide open.

Youngster, you should try the soymilk stall operated by my son in front of the White Horse Temple, it’s very tasty and you will feel reinvigorated.

Ma’am, the Little White Soymilk is really tasty.

Thanks for the praise, kid. My boy Little White always works from morning to night; I am worried he’s too hard on himself.

Don’t worry ma’am, he seems to have a tough constitution

[Sigh], boy, will you do me a favor?

Helping people is the foundation of happiness, please tell me what you need, ma’am.

I boiled this pot of soup for my Little White, but I can’t leave this spot now, so will you kindly deliver it for me?

That’s a simple task, I promise to deliver it.

Thank you, kid.

You’re welcome, ma’am.

Nutritious chicken soup.

Little White bro.

Hello again, my soymilk is good, isn’t it.

I’m not here for the soymilk, but to deliver this.


Yeah, your mom was worried sick about you working too hard, so she boiled this chicken soup for you, here take it.

(Oh mother...) Thanks for the trouble, thank you.

You’re welcome, assisting people is my daily homework.

If that’s the case, would you also do me a favor?

Sorry, I already did my daily charitable work and really need some rest.

You tell him Jesus, we hate chain-fetch quest.

As the saying goes, “ Help people till the ends, send Buddha all the way to the west , you might as well help me out one more time.

Tell me what I need to do first.

You just need to go to Louyang Motel and order a special meal from the assistant chef and I will go pick it up personally.

If you’re going to pick it up yourself, then you should just purchase it straight from them instead.

Because this meal requires going through complicated process, it must be pre-ordered and since I can’t leave my stall, I will have to trouble you.

Sorry, I don’t help lazy gluttons.

You had mistaken, this dish is good for the heart, lungs, and strengthens the bone, which is good for the elderly, so I order it for my mother.

(These two care deeply for each other) Very well, I will help you.

Thank you sir. The assistant chef usually goes to the market at morning to purchases ingredients and won’t be back until afternoon.

Moral increased, it is now 52!


Its still morning, so we have to wait.

I should have visit the other house first before running all the way to the market…

It might look like our Jesus shrank down half his size compared to the door’s size, but it’s just perceptive illusion.

Hey kid, if you need some fresh fish, you should go to the fish stall near the Hero Statue.

Mister, you sell fish too?

Yeah, but my spouse had to take over for me ever since I broke my leg. [Sigh], seeing her going through the cruel life out there really hurts my heart, and then there’s the problem with Fisherman East addicted to alcohol. Less and less fishes from him mean harder times for all of us.

Don’t feel too bad, sir. Tell me what happened with Fisherman East.

The fishes from our stall are solely supplied by East, but he stopped fishing when he became addicted to alcohol, and now that we don’t have a supplier for fish, business has been going downhill.

I see.

Kid, if you have some fish for sale, we will give you a good price.

Thank you, sir.

Now to explore the north end of the city.

Now it might look like our Jesus shrank down to a quarter of his size compared to the door’s size, but it’s just perception illusion. Awesome distance perception technology?

[…I leave with the wind, yet I can’t handle the chill, from the top of the tower..]

Excellent use of the phrase [from the top of the tower]! Great poem! Wonderful poem! Mister, did you create that poem?

It is an excellent poem; unfortunately, it wasn’t made by me. This originated from
Su Shi of Song dynasty.

I see.

Mr.Su Shi is not only proficient in poetry, but he is also an expert in calligraphy.

Judging from your fighter appearance, you are part of Wulin?

I’m just a newly joined small fry, can’t even be called part of Wulin yet, but one of these days, I will earn some rep out of the world of Wulin.

Actually, the world of Jiang Wu is not just fighting and killing each other or becoming number one. From what I know, many inhabitances of Wulin have their own specialized hobbies like chess, music, art, calligraphy, etc.

This calligraphy manuscript here is a gift from a unique individual I met during trip to Hun Cu.

If I have a chance, I will give calligraphy try.

I am Scholar Lee. I still don’t know what yours name is after such a pleasant conversation.

I am Jesus.

Nice to meet you. Having the fortune of meeting you, I would love to have some poem duets and maybe calligraphy together, but unfotunately I need to prepare today’s homework in order to prepare for the autumn test next year, so if you are willing, please come again at noon for some literature practice.

Very well, I will be there.

Jesus, you want to exchange some information?

You…you…how did you know my name?

You kidding? Information is the lifeblood of us Southern Jester Clan.

Southern Jester Clan? Where would I have heard that before?

You serious!? You’ve never heard of Southern Jester Clan!?
Back in the old days, if it wasn’t for my great grandfather’s information, you think Little Shrimp would ever have located the Fourteen Heavenly Books?

Oh!! Northern Chaste Southern Jester, I’ve heard of it before, it is definitely very famous.

So, you want to exchange some information?

Exchange for what?

You can exchange it with money.

How much?

Not much, today’s price is one thousand silvers for each info.

So much!? What a rip-off!

Not much if it’s accurate.

How do I know if it’s accurate or not?

Very well, I will give you some free info, come back if you think it’s good.

What info?

South east from here is the village outside of the city, going east from there will lead you to the forest, and within the forest is a mine. Inside the forest, you can hunt animals, fish, gather herb, and mine, but all require tools., you want some information?

1) Yes
2) No

We won’t buy it because it’s just hints on events and it drops I.Q.!

We have reach the village outside of Louyang!

Hello youngster, is there something you need?

Sir, did you grow those flowers?

Mister here doesn’t have much hobby other than growing flowers.

What are all these flowers? They are so beautiful.

Obviously the Peony in Louyang, have you never heard of the saying “Louyang Peony throughout the world”?

Why is peony so popular in Louyang?

There’s a story to that. You ever heard of Wu Che Tien?

She’s the one and only female emperor in history.

Yes. One time when Wu Chen Tien was taking a stroll at the palace back garden, hundreds of flowers blossomed dazzlingly, except the peonies, so Wu Che Tien order the banishment of all the peonies to Louyang under a whim of anger.

That’s a interesting event, what happened after that?

What was unexpected is that Louyang’s local temperature and soil is very suitable for peonies to thrive in, and so they begins to multiply.
Till the Song Dynasty period, Louyang managed to breed the Thousand Leaves Peony with numerous varieties, which eventually won the Flower of the World title, and so peony is also known as the Louyang Flower.

I would never thought that the peony had such a fascinating origin.

Look at this peony’s appearance: large flower, beautiful shape, appealing color, delicate fragrance, and majestic elegance. Only the royalty and rich had the chance to glimpse at it in ancient times, which also why it is nick named the Wealthy Flower; it is the king of flowers.

If you can come during the Qingming Festival in Louyang, that’s where fun begins.

Qingming Festival?

Yes, we have Qingming Festival here in Louyang every three years, and Louyang also sponsors the grand Peony Flower Fair. It’s grandeur can be described by a quote of Li Ye’s poem from the Tong Dynasty, as such, “Only peony embody the true color of the nation, and its blossom will touch the heart of the Capital.”

Ehh, I didn’t think you’re so educated.

Oh, don’t joke about it now, I just heard it from someone.

Well, no more time to chat, if you have a chance, don’t forget to visit Louyang for the Peony Flower Fair. I also better work harder to create a new variety, to win the flower competition.

Thanks for telling me all these things. Now I feel much more informed. See you later.

Your Gardening skill increased, it is now 10.

It must be really peaceful for people to leave their door wide open

Hey! Dumbass, who are you? Why are you here?

(This person has a big temper! Not to mention a big alcohol stench .)
Sir, I suggest you drink less alcohol; it’s bad for your body.

You know nothing! The alcohol I drink is good for spleen and stomach, which is good for my body, so go away and stop bothering me.

Now that Hunter Lee is back, time to get back to work.

He is the miner that was scared of the forest bear rumor and won’t go to work until we solve the Hunter Lee’s gambling problem.

This forest is so…lush green.

Hey pal, we meet again. Thanks again for saving me from gambling problem; if it wasn’t for you I would’ve been broke.

You’re welcome, Mr.Lee. The saying goes: [i] Depend on your parent at home, and depend on your friends outside.
Don’t worry about such small things.

I’m but a petty worker, and don’t have much to repay you, but here an extra set of bow and arrows for you as a gift of my appreciation.

I can’t accept such generosity. In fact, I don’t even know how to use a bow or what it is used for.

Bow and arrow are the best tools for hunting as they’re effective against anything that flies on the sky or runs on the ground.


Yeah, Pal!

Then, Mr.Lee, please show me the art of hunting. I really know nothing about it.

Steady your breath, focus your mind, pull the bow and aim, and then release the arrow. Let’s give it a try.

Next time: Jesus destroy the local food-chain.

(Sorry, run out of time to make and post the hunting part till tomorrow.)