The Let's Play Archive

Legend of Wulin Heroes

by Nyaa

Part 33: Chapter Thirty-Three/Four: What can change the nature of a man?

Obligatory fondle the viewers chapter for the evil this play-through lacked. It suppose to end in a cliffhanger, but I ended up making two chapters, so enjoy.

Edit: Added a request to have a certain portrait be shown in full size horror.

Part Thirty-Three/Four: What can change the nature of a man?

Stunned by the revelation that Swallow is going to be cavorting by the tongue of men, Jesus must take immediate action….

Music: Pawn Shop

…by selling those antiques back for the precious silvers. We now can move on to more important business.

Alcohol, truly a much more important possession than women and their constant threat of divorce.

After a few drinks, we still have lots of time left to visit a few locals and we certainly won't be interrupting someone’s rambunctious happy happy time. That would be rude.

Last time I got a copy of the Ancient and Modern Ten Manuscript but forgot to come back to show it to him.

Lee buddy, look at this manuscript.

This… This is the copy of Wind Pavilion! Jesus buddy, how did you get this?

It’s like this, after I heard about your lecture, I became interested in calligraphy and painting and I asked the old mister at the painting stand to give me this copy.

Great, Jesus buddy, you really have the will to pursue knowledge, so I will explain the good points of Wind Pavilion to you.

The Wind Pavilion was written by Huang Tingjian of the song dynasty. He favors using a long lined ink-brush, with the submerging motion of the brush, rising with the delicate motion and movement of an ocean wave, with an elegant feeling of three slashes in one wave displaying the rhythms of a boat traveling on an opposing wave yet able to match the sea’s uneven rhythms.

I see, thanks Lee buddy, now I know more about calligraphy.

You are too courteous, we are in the same boat after all, so it’s just sharing a mutual interest, haha.

Your calligraphy skill increased, it is now 22.

Now on to a more pressing matter that is more important than saving someone from being raucously snuggled because you guys voted for it.

Jesus, why are you here today?

I and my schoolbrothers came to participate in the Honorable Kung’s birthday party.

I see! I thought you came all the way to see me.

I am here now, ain’t I?

Heh, I’m just kidding.

How is your father’s condition?

The same. Not only that, he won’t listen to me when I tell him to take more rest, and he keeps trying to discover the Janken Fist's secret. [Sigh]!

Miss Li, don’t feel bad, I will do my best to find all the herbs and learn enough medical skill to heal your father.

[Sigh]! When will my father be healed…

Mister Chi, you should rest more often.

I don’t have much time left, so I better discover the secret of Janken fist or else the art will be lost forever. [Sigh], my daughter won’t allow me to do the street performance, so now I can only practice at home.

Time to fulfill the promise and gather the require herbs and skill.

Roulette of destiny! We only needed raise our skill by four more points to get the required medical skill level.

Miss Li! I found the herbs and with my current skill, I am sure I can heal your father!

Really!? Please hurry and cure my father.

Sir, I found the require herb and my current medical skill can heal your sickness.

Really? Thanks for all the trouble.

Oh, no trouble at all, just someone being boisterously cuddled while I settle all my personal affairs first.

The bird watches Jesus poking Mister Chi with lots of needles and making him drink goo.

Hm, that should do. Try taking a deep breath.

Eh, it doesn't hurt anymore. I am truly thankful. You really are such a wonderful kid, Little Li will definitely find happiness…

…WAIT. What does that second line means!?

Aww, dad…

…yep, she is now technically your girlfriend.

……….. (What does he mean?)
Oh you will know in time.

Finally, it’s time for Jesus to…

Fish for more carp because saving a thief’s life probably won’t fill your belly tonight.

Your fishing skill increased, it is now 75
Your flexibility increased, it is now 64

It’s been nearly an hour; surely the lass would have become a woman by now.

What!? What kind of amazing stalling tactics did she utilized to hold back the extremely horny flounder!?

Go ahead, who do you think can hear you in this isolated place?

This is truly the face of a professional rear assaulter. Even I want to kick his ass now.

You are wrong! I can receive signals even in places like this!

Please save me, sir!

You want to die, kid? How dare you ruin my fun!

What is this disappointing looking kung fu? Maybe you should learn from your big brother, Gluttony.

Jesus proceeds to punch his annoyingly creepy face.

All battle stats increased
Your reputation increased

I will remember you!

The thought of him remembering Jesus is troubling.

Ninja escape!

Brothers’ entrance!

Looks like you found her first, not bad bro. Not bad.

Although I found her, I still can’t find the gift.

Your stuff is here, you can have it back.

Go! We will take you to the local authority now!

Ah! No, I beg you; please don’t take me to the officials! I have a seventy year old grandma and grandpa and dozens of young sibling and little dogs and cats waiting needing me to care for them, please…

Brothers, we've got our stuff back and she already regrets her actions. Since we didn’t lose anything, I say we forgive her this time.

…very well, since my bro pleaded for you, we will let you off, but if it happens again, I won’t let it slide that easily.

Yes, yes, I won’t do it again!

Stealing is not an acceptable behavior in society, I suggest you find a job to be on the safe side.

Yes, yes, thanks for your suggestion, I will think about it. I will take my leave now.

Thief exit!

It’s time, let’s go to Kung’s mansion.

Yes, brother.

Alright, let’s go in.

Mister Kung.

Mister Moon, Jesus, you've all [finally!] arrived, please come in, the party is about to start.

Now is the chance to take a look at the Kung mansion.

Everyone is gathered in the front yard.

Only 7 sects (and one protection agency) came to the party, but all of them are big names.

Welcome to my humble little shack, my fellow Wulin comrades. Let me now introduce everyone here as the host of this party. First, we have the headmaster of Wudang and his students.

Nice to meet you all.


Wudang student Swordman Just greets thee all.

Old…Old Sincere greets…thee all.

Now let me introduce Master Acumen from Shaolin Temple and his student Vacant Truth.


As you can see from the sleepy and profoundly unhappy faces, a monk’s life is hard.

Next is the head of Tang Family and his son.

Good to see you all, we are much honored to be invited to this party.

Tang Crown greets thee all.

Next is the master of the Eight Trigrams Sect and his son.

Nice to meet you all.

Saberman Shang greets thee all.

Absolute Saber Sect’s successor, Nix Summer.

Nice to meet you all.

Heavenly Sword Sect’s successor Swordsman West.

Swordsman West greets thee all.

Next are the Long Rainbow Agency’s director and his son.

I had heard a lot about everyone’s great names before, and today I am honored to be invited.

Great Guan greets thee all.


Lastly, I will introduce Carefree Valley’s senior student Vale Moon Pavilion, second student Bramble Thorn, and…he is…

He is my schoolbrother under our sect of Carefree Valley, Jesus.

Nice to meet you all. ( [Sigh]…so I am unpopular.)

So it is Master Flawless’ student, my apology.

I am happy to be able to celebrate my fiftieth birthday with everyone, let me begin with this drink.


Who’s there!?

Invaders! Sucks for them to land at the pond.

It sure is busy isn’t it, Honorable Kung, but you seem to have forgotten to invite us.

I am on the good side of Wulin, so it is obviously I will only invite good people to attend. Pardon me if I exclude you unorthodox cultists from of the list.

That right! Get out of here you cultist!

There is no place here for you!

Get them out of here!


The Four Evils of Jiangwu kicked the asses of those youngsters.


Bro, who is this woman?

She is the night guardian of Sky Dragon Cult. This cult is full of troublemakers who love to destroy the order of Wulin, and is hated by everyone. Looks like they are here to ruin the party today.

Hahaha, is this the strength of the orthodox? What a bunch of papers. Looks like it won’t be long before the Sky Dragon Cult becomes the ruler of Wulin, hahahahahaha!

Shut up! Good has always prevailed against evil since ancient time, even if you all have an advantage today, we will win the war eventually, and you all will be wiped out by the forces of goodness!

Hmph! Another kid who talks big. Show me if you can back up your words with your actions! Four Evils of Jiangwu, go!

Welcome to the battle where 90% of the players lost. The final test of the mission!

Gamble takes the initiative and rushes down to take down Moon, who he assumes to be the strongest. His Kung fu seems to be throwing dice with his chi.

First glimpse of Bramble Thorn's kung fu, which is a combination of Carefree Sword Style and Carefree Saber Style.

Once we have taken care of that reckless gambler who rushed in to get beaten up, the carefree trio meets up with the trio of evil.

As expected from a drunkard, he invented a face spitting attack…powered by chi.

All battle stats increased
Your reputation increased

Looks like you have some backbone after all, now it is my turn.

I won’t let you fool around while I am still standing!

Witness the battle of the elders who are in the list of the Top 20 Most Powerful Kung Fu Masters. Hell, just look at the hp bar.

Dang~~she is shooting a giant spear of evil chi.

Hmph! Who would have thought the orthodox people would gang up for a unfair fight.

There is no need to fight fairly with cultists!

Hahahahaha! What a bunch of goody two shoes, we will leave!

If we lose, then they just go “Hahaha you suck, let’s go home”.

Who would have thought something like this would happen at this party. As a host, I am deeply sorry for letting you all getting injured.

Don’t blame yourself Mister Kung; this is clearly the fault of Sky Dragon Cult.

Yeah, listen to the panda, it’s totally not your fault.

But Sky Dragon Cult’s forces seem to be steadily increasing.

We will have to be more careful.

Just now, Mister Jesus’s defeat of the cultists was a very admirable deed, here is a gift as my thanks, please accept it.

The newest game patch seems to break some code and I didn’t get the antique reward thing.

It’s unfortunate to have everyone wounded in this party; I suggest we end it for the day and hurry to take care of our wounds.

Brothers, we better hurry back to the valley and report this to master.

Master Flawless would have kicked every cultist's ass if he had come.

Hmph, Sky Dragon Cult might have some other shady activities going on, Wulin won’t be peaceful for a while.

Potential Nightmare Avatar

Soul of a rambunctious cuddler

Horror fact: Copy this cursed image into Microsoft Word and highlight it to reveal extra horror.