The Let's Play Archive

Legend of Wulin Heroes

by Nyaa

Part 59: Chapter Fifty-Eight: Alcohol, My True Love!

All: 2
Chi Li: 1
Ren Faire: 0
Rivulet Ruta: 4
Thority Tracey: 8
Little Fragrance: 3
Graceful Azure: 24
Swallow History: 22
Our wonderful cake head beauty has managed to win the difficult race against the most beautiful Little Fragrance!

And now, here’s a chapter for the ladies, and we shall get some manly activities in this chapter.

Part Fifty-Eight: Alcohol, My True Love!

A thought crossed Jesus’ mind while he was stretching. Which girl would be his ideal soul mate? All of them have their own unique qualities and likeable sides…except Chi Li.

Jesus tries a speedy leaf counting that can, according to folklore, reveal the face of the girl he likes. It didn’t work.

Who could it be? Maybe he can hear the voice of the girl he likes from his heart? It didn’t work.

WHO COULD IT BE!? This is getting annoying!


[Sigh] This is getting us nowhere, so let’s get some liquor instead.

Wintry buddy!

Dukang Village just finished brewing a new batch of liquors and I want to invite you to drink together with me.

What are we waiting for? Let’s go!

Dukang Village

Wintry Sword’s Quest Begin!

Ah…the smell of liquors…This! Is! Heaven!

Jesus looks around for the liquor shop…

He finds some discarded broken liquor pots, someone should be more careful.

So the rumor about men of alcohol being extra-large is true.

Ah, the storage area for the liquor someone will pick up later. Must…resist…

Some sort of commotion is coming from the group of villagers.

Why would something like happen?

The thief is unforgivable!


Sir, what’s happening here?

[Sigh] All of our newly brewed special grade Dukang liquors in the cellar were stolen within one night.

Exactly! This thief sure is pretty amazing; he only stole the newly brewed special grade Dukang liquor!

Our headman has been investigating the cellar for half a day and still hasn’t come out yet, maybe there’s still no lead?

Speaking of the devil, the headman has finally come out of the house and is moving toward the group.

How is it, Mister Headman?

Any lead on the thief?

How is it? Will the thief come again?

[Sigh]…I still don’t have any clue at all. Please return to your posts while I think up some countermeasure!

Looks like re-election will come sooner than expected…unless Jesus helps him.

Yes? What is it, young man?

I have heard about your blight of the theft of top class Dukang liquors, how did it happen?

[Sigh] I don’t know, but our village is famous for brewing Dukang liquor and has no history of stolen liquor. Why would it suddenly happen today?

Looks like all the villager’s hard year of hard work was a waste…[sigh]

Squawking popinjay! This is obviously a declaration of war against me! We will find and catch this thief!

Yeah! No one messes with our alcohol and gets away with it!

We will search every single house if we have to!

That’s some interestingly alcohol themed room…maybe Jesus should copy that for his room.

More importantly, maybe it’s better to visit the crime scene first.

Looks like all the fermentation is happening in the cooler cellar.

Oh god, they are so hard to resist! If only soul mate were that easy to choose!

These liquors would need a lot of effort and strength to carry away, so that should lead us to some sort of evidence…

On his way out, Jesus noticed these slightly submerged footprints…

The footprints ended near the local shrine, and there seem to be a hidden cave behind it.

Jesus can hear some sort of movement from the cave, now we have found the culprit!

The culprit is…what!? The culprit is a…wait, hold on a minute there…

HAHAHAHAHA! This is the most hilarious ~(‘_’)~ faced monkey I ever seen! HAHAHA…okay, back to business.

Woah! Put the sword down Wintry, it just a cute little scared ~(*_*)~ faced monkey!

You rotten monkey! Return the liquor!

Cha! Cha! Cha! Cha!

Jesus bro, this monkey seems pretty slick, and I am sure it will throw things at us. Please catch the liquor when he throws it and avoid the rocks so it won’t break the liquor in your hand.

In the mean time, I will try to sneakily approach and capture it, which I estimate that you will have to get more than 35 jars before it is within my arm’s reach.

Editor: Wow Wintry sword must be psychic, knowing exactly how many jars it takes to before he can sneak up on a monkey.

Author: Men of alcohol know all the maths involving alcohol.

Alright, sounds like a plan. [Remember, left click is move left and right click is move right]


Come to papa! My precious!

After catching 35 jars of liquors within time limit, our Wintry caught on to the monkey and it’s currently having a manly wreastle with the wild beast.

That might be a bit of excessive bondage, but I approve.

Hahaha! Finally caught you little rascal!


Yeah, it does feels like we kidnapped some kid and are saying some horrible things to him.

Let’s go inform the villagers so they can move the liquors back.

People give Jesus the look when they see him carrying a tied-up, struggling monkey on his back.

Editor: When you drink as much as he does, you’re used to having a monkey on your back.

If only the headman was more competent.

Headman, I have brought you your thief!


Is a monkey!? U MAD?

Exactly! I followed the footprint all the way to a cave and captured it. Luckily it has only drunk one jar of liquor and the rest is unopened, so please call the folks to carry it back.

Editor: That tiny monkey drank a whole jar of booze and Wintry still had that much trouble sneaking up on it?

Author: It has the alcohol as hostage. The risk is too great.

Wonderful, I will hurry and make the call!

Today should be known as the JUDGEMENT DAY for the monkey.

Thanks to these two heroes we have recovered our Dukang Liquor, so please accept these two jars of Dukang from us with our gratitude!

Thank you mister headman.

Accepting alcohol is not something Jesus will fail to be courteous about.

So what to do with this monkey?

I say we let it go!

No, no, I suggest we sell it to the hunters so it won’t steal from us again.

Then why not just kill it for monkey soup? The brain is very nutritious!

Monkey brain will give you all sorts of diseases, do not eat it and do not post links or image about it.


1) Agree with releasing it.
2) Agree with selling it to the hunter.
3) Agree with killing it for soup.
4) Adopt the monkey.

Vote Begin

1) Pick ONE choice.
2) If you choose #4, give it a name.

    Potential Avatar of the Day
You have obtained a jar of alcohol!
            Throw? (Y/N) N
            Drink? (Y/Y) Y