The Let's Play Archive

Legend of Wulin Heroes

by Nyaa

Part 76: Chapter Seventy-Six: Third Crash

Part Seventy-Six: Third Crash
Music: Autumn

Alright, our schedule is tight so let’s do this before something else gets in Jesus’s way.

Sir Qing.

Ah, it’s you, Jesus. How’s your painting skill?

It’s still poor compared to you.

You need to practice more in order to discover more techniques.

I will work harder!

[Sigh] It seems it would be a bit difficult for you, so you should try this next time.

Better get this done in two turns.

Your painting skill increased, it is now 100

Hi, your new title is ‘Ink Spreaders’, bye.

Reputation increased

Now we are ready for whatever final painting that Painter Qing brought back. :madmax

Eh, I haven’t seen you for days and now it looks like your painting skill is at the master level. Since I happened to obtain these eight paintings during my travel, you should give it a try painting copies of it and see if you can understand the meaning behind them.

Alright, then I will give it a try.

Note: The following eight painting are known as “Tian Long Ba Bu” (Eight Sections of Sky Dragon). It refers to the eight races of non-human entities described in Buddhist cosmological text Lotus Sutra and it is also the title of Jin Yong’s / Louis Cha’s most narratively complex novel. The novel is also known in the west as “Demigods and Semi-Devils”.

Kinnara (紧那罗): A celestial musician, half-human and half-horse (India) or half-bird (south-east Asia). In the game it is a twenty plus years old beautiful man of musical talent, usually hangs around the brothel holding a fan with a dejected expression.

Mahoraga (摩呼罗迦): Known as the great python spirit with a body of man and head of a python. In the game he is the vile conspirator.

Asura (阿修罗): An Anti-deva. Generally, females look very beautiful while males look very ugly. They have heavenly powers but no saintly merit. They solve problems by force before reason. Violence is honour to them. In the game, Asura is the daughter of the leader of Sky Dragon Cult who left to form her own Sura Sect.

Garuda (伽楼罗): A rare gigantic golden bird which preys on Nagas. In the game it is a forty plus years old man who lives with his large condor. Due to disagreement with the leader of Sky Dragon Cult (Naga), he decided to leave and live in the desert.

Yaksha (夜叉): Fierce and agile specter which can devour other ghosts. In this game she is a young and beautiful twenty plus years old woman with a beautiful body and intense sinister radiance.

Gandharva (乾驮婆): A scent spirit which feeds on smells alone. In the game it’s a forty plus year old woman who loves music and has a soft personality. She prefers solitude.

Deva (天: Sky/Heavenly): The holy being that lives in heavens. The ex-leader of Sky Dragon Cult who is the number one in Wulin thirty years ago according to Rater Ye, but with the united strength of every heroic kung fu pugilist, he has been captured and is currently locked in an unknown location.

Naga (龙: Dragon): Serpent deity, current leader of Sky Dragon Cult. Ruler of all the Cults, neither lawful nor evil, he has set his relentless eyes on Wulin and will spread his fangs throughout Wulin.

Not bad, not bad, looks like you must have understood the meaning behind the painting to be able to finish these paintings in such a short time span.

From understanding the cosmetology and symbolism behind these paintings, Jesus becomes enlightened.

Indeed, while I was painting, I discovered that all eight paintings are hiding a powerful kung fu, and thus become enlightened.

Then I will congratulate you, buddy. I think you don’t need to visit me anymore, and should stay in the valley to practice your kung fu instead, and I will come visit you when I am free.

Alright. Thanks for all the guidance, and we will experience the joy of painting when you come visit me at the valley.

You learned a new kung fu

Jesus has obtained the strongest palm style kung fu that’s stronger than Janken Fist!

Now that Jesus mastered Music, Xiangqi, Calligraphy, and Painting, Jesus will move on to…

I would never dream of getting all Music, Xiangqi, Calligraphy, and Painting to 100, so it seems I am very good at multi-tasking…….learned Twofold Assault!!!!!

With this powerful new feat, Jesus can perform a kung fu twice per turn with only chi cost of one usage.

Now to finish up mastering the medical art of poking people’s Gushing Spring Point, but something’s probably gonna happen and distract Jesus so we can see him kick major asses in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1….

Early December

Heavenly Sword Sect and Absolute Saber Sect are being deceived into conflict, should I go stop them?

1) Yes
2) No

Why yes, evil meatbags are great for training new kung fu.

More people are free this time, but since we took the four magnificent guys last time, we will bring in the Charlie’ Jesus’ angels this time.

The bird follows Jesus all the way to the Giant Buddha of Leshan.

: Cave

So the master of Saber and Sword Sect hid his memoirs in this cave…

And Buddha is once again not amused at all by the oncoming clashes.

Jesus could feel the tension emitted from everyone in the cave.

The ‘pretend to fight’ each other party.

The ‘I am gonna slit your throat’ party.

Marquis Summer! So you really do plan to take the relic!

Hmph! I could say the same of you!

Looks like today we will settle this once and for all!

Should’ve been sooner, en garde!

Simon Pig, this time you will not escape!

Shut up, Nix Monkey! The seat of master will belong to my father!

This is getting serious, Jesus needs to intervene!

EVERYONE STOP! This is all a plot by Tang Family and Bagua Sect to separate Saber and Sword Sect! Please stop!

Jesus, you better stop lying!

That’s right; this is none of your business!

No, I am gonna deal with it!

Stop him!

: Battle Theme

Angels, assemble! Jesus is going to smite lots of evil today!

Zero percent mastery of A.E.S.S.D. is enough to blow you apart!

Note: The following combine two or more turns of attacks in one screenshot.

All naughty boys deserve a good old whipping!

The agitated boys retaliate!

The masters try to take down the strongest, Jesus.

But wholly missed by Jesus nimbly stepping aside.

Chun Chi Li kick!

Jesus knows he is running low on time, so he gives everyone diarrhea poison.

The girls finishes up the leftovers that manage to even stand straight.

All your battle stats increased

HMPH! So you’ve got some guts; little good student of Flawless.

Since you want to deal with this, then go ahead. Too bad for you that they’re already fighting.

Imaging them on their knee holding their belly and trying to talk smugly about it.

Your relationship with Saberman Shang decreased
Your relationship with Tang Crown decreased

Now to deal with th—

Villains appear!

Kid, don’t ruin our grand work.

So it was Sky Dragon Cult pulling the strings.

Kid, Sky Dragon Cult is getting stronger by the days while every sect in Wulin is like a bowl of loose sand, so if you don’t ruin our master plan today, I would let you join us in the future. How about it, give it some consideration.

1) Fine, today I will let you have your way.
2) Who would want to join a cult!

Third option, you all surrender now before Jesus smites you.

Seems like we have to do it the hard way.

: Battle Theme Two

The girls are eager to guard Jesus from the cultist.

But Jesus just goes ahead and uses his 50% mastered AESSD that he figured out how to add denser chi to.

But these cultists are really strong; they use poisons that could down an elephant.

Really unexpectedly weird angle swim dive body slam attack.

And punches like a madman.

Our girls are not that weak either, except the backstab thief and soft legs normal girl.

Jesus tries to cure the poison with Bodhi Heart Cleanse but it can’t catch up to such a powerful poison combo.

Despite the setback, the lightly recovered girls are able to weakly whip/kick/whip/stab optimally.

Swallow, Jesus, Thority, and Chi Li are all badly poisoned. This battle is in the cultist favor.

Finally, in the midst of grave danger, Jesus’ genius mind unlocked the true power of AESSD.

Your mastery of Art of the Eight Sections of Sky Dragon increased, it is now 100.




All your battle stats increased

Hmph! Your antagonism will be remembered by the Sky Dragon Cult. Let’s go.

I should have mentioned that the third guy has a weird way of tele-jumping.

Finally, Jesus has reached the battling parties.

You four stop this instant! Don’t needlessly kill each other!

This is Saber and Sword Sect’ problem, outsiders shall not interfere!

…………(Looks like they won’t calm down.) Pardon me!

All the poisons still persist into this battle, but at least all hp are restored.


All your battle stats increased

Both masters please listen to me…

Suddenly, eight letters pop out of the stone table.

Ah! “Saber and Sword as One,”

“Infinite Potential.”

Th-this is the grandmaster’s message?

Pardon my interruption, but I personally believe Saber has its greatness, and Sword has it own distinctiveness. I believe Depthless Zhenren created Saber and Sword Sect for the sole reason of combining both advantages of Saber and Sword. Definitely not to polarize its students and let them kill each other.


……… brother, what have we been doing for the past thirty years?

Augh…….we almost made a grave mistake….

……maybe it is time to calm down…..

But grandmaster’s relic is now unrecoverable….

…Saber and Sword Sect can…from now on…

Back down to the evil quartet who just came back from the toilet.

Wh-what happened?

Saber and Sword Sect are now united, you two masters don’t have to worry anymore.

Indeed, we don’t need to fight anymore.

WHAT!? This….

HOHOHO, I shall be the first to congratulate you both for solving this without bloodshed.

Yes… [sarcasm] congrats, congrats [/sarcasm].

…(These two old men sure know how to go with the flow.)

Young man, it is thanks to your intervention that we didn’t commit to a grave mistake.

That’s right, Jesus, you truly are our Saber and Sword Sect’s savior.

Ah-this is…not much; I just don’t want to see good friends killing each other.

Saber and Sword Sect has many things for us to deal with, it is unfortunate that we can’t properly attend to you until then.

No worries, your Sect’s issues are more important, and I need to return home too, farewell.

Now that the coast is clear, Rater Ye pops out to congratulate Jesus.

Jesus buddy really didn’t disappoint me.

Ye buddy, we meet again.

Yeah, Jesus buddy performed superbly to be able to prevent this intra-Sect bloodshed and united the 30 years divided sect back as one.

Th-this is just a contribution to Wulin, it was the right thing to do.

Hahaha, I like your modesty, this incident will be recorded into my book: Jesus of Carefree Valley successfully united the thirty years divided Saber and Sword Sect.

Editors: And brought four love interests along on the same mission without them attacking him or each other.

I see, thank you, Ye buddy.

Haha, it is what I do, no need to be so well-mannered, farewell.

Your reputation increased, it is now 646

      Potential Avatar of the Night
I eat children who don’t brush their teeth!