Part 45: Is This a Necklace or an Albatross?
Update 29: Is This a Necklace or an Albatross?
"So, what does everybody think of Lord Hacker? Alien prisoner in disguise or just another eccentric old man?"
"Well, he did just send us out to fetch a medusa's head. If he wanted us dead, that would be the way to do it."
"I don't think this is the way to the medusa's cave."
"Everybody, beware! I have heard that liches can case spells of terrible destructive power."
"Better not wait to find out for sure."
"What, more of them? Did we disturb an ancient burial ground or something?"
"Hey, what do you know, they do cast spells of terrible destructive power!"Drewjitsu dodged a bullet there. Disintegration spells aren't quite as effective when cast by enemies as they are when cast by party members, but they still hit more often than not.
Fortunately, liches die easily and tend to carry valuable treasure.
The liches are another fixed outdoor encounter, but they're more dangerous and less rewarding than the black knights, so it's best not to try farming them. In this case, though, we got a cool new bow for our trouble! If obsidian is as powerful in this game as it is in World of Xeen, this bow will be quite a find. Let's see what it does.
"That's weird. I've already removed my bow. Maybe if I put away my flamberge as well..."
"Aw, crap, it's cursed. Now we have to go all the way back to town to get it removed."One quick trip back to Erliquin later...
"That would have been a useful hint if we'd found it before finding Raven's Lair." "Perhaps we should explore the great outdoors more often." "Nah, screw that. Too much effort. Wait, why are we looking for a cave in a forest, anyway?"
"That's more like it."
"Are we sure we want to do this? We're exposing ourselves to a great deal of risk, probably for very little reward." "As adventurers, that's more or less our job description."
"Well, here goes nothing."
"At least this means we're in the right place, doesn't it? I mean, there's gotta be a medusa around here somewhere." "Or a basilisk, or a gorgon." "Or all of the above."
"This isn't exactly a good start."
"At least they had some treasure. A few gems, and a... what the hell is this thing?" "I think it's a widget." "No, no, it hasn't got nearly enough pointy bits on it. I'm pretty sure it's a gewgaw." "Maybe it's a bibelot?" "Nonsense! It's clearly a bagatelle." "You're all mistaken, I'm afraid. It is, without a doubt, a kickshaw." "I'm inclined to take Jostiband's word on the matter before this conversation gets any stupider. Can we keep moving on down the path?"
"When I said 'moving on down', I didn't mean it quite so literally."
"Drewjitsu, can you please take over the healing for a while? I'm growing tired." "Sure thing! Oh, Mighty Talcron, I beseech you! Zap the poison out of our systems with your holy lightning!" 
"And that's why you shouldn't rely on thunder gods for healing."
"Well, that's basilisks and gorgons taken care of. Hopefully our next encounter will be with some medusas."
"Hey, one of those dragons was wearing a diamond-studded collar. Must be magical. It looks like if I tightened this strap a little, it'd fit around my neck..."
"Oh God." "An important lesson in biology: aging 80 years is good for dragons and bad for people." "My back aches."The Diamond Collar isn't technically a cursed item, so it can be removed at any time. Unfortunately, that doesn't reverse the aging.
"More statues. I suppose that's a good sign, by some definitions of the word."
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!" "You know, we've fallen into pits lots of times before." "Yeah, but 'fool me once per dungeon, shame on you' doesn't have the same ring to it." "Everything's gone blurry. Is this what cataracts are like?"
"Oh, it's another magically dark area. Lovely. Well, I'll just cast Lasting Light..."
"Okay, I'll take a few steps back and then cast Lasting Light... and hope that we don't encounter any more basilisks until our magic starts working again."
"Damn it, Preacher, stop jinxing us."
"Well, that fight didn't go so badly." "Maybe not, but I can't believe that not even one of those medusa heads was left intact. Tarquinn, I told you not to aim for the head!" "It's not my fault I'm going deaf." "Technically, you are the one who put the collar on in the first place..." "I didn't hear that." "I said, technically, you--" "I heard you, you stupid woman! It was a figure of speech. Now can we please go and find a medusa head, so that we can get out of here before I drop dead from a heart attack?"
"Not yet. I need to rest and recover my strength." "We're going to camp out overnight in a basilisk-infested cavern while I'm on the verge of death. This is our best plan yet."
"Ah, that was refreshing. Tarquinn, are you ready to go? Tarquinn? ... uh-oh."
"No need to panic, everybody. I can resurrect him."
"Well, what are you waiting for?" "There, er, seems to be a problem." "You can't resurrect him? What exactly are we paying you for?" "You're not paying me. If I weren't embezzling money from the party's funds, I'd still be a pauper." "Wait, what did you just say?" "So this is why the high priest recommended that I learn some amnesia spells. Damn it all." "Hey, guys, shouldn't we concentrate on getting out of here? I don't feel right being down here without a full party." "A sound idea. I'll use a Town Portal to take us to Dusk, so that we're within easy reach of the Sands of Time."
"We're not in the cavern any more." "Not exactly, no." "I died in my sleep, didn't I?" "You could say that." "I hate you all."
The hintbook says Unobtainium is worth 50,000 gold. It lies.
"Only 1 gold? Why, back in my day young men showed their elders some respect!" "You know, Tarquinn, you're not actually 114 years old. Stop acting like a fogey." "What? I act like this all the time."I'll split the update here because otherwise it'll be kind of long. Next time on Let's Play Might & Magic: we return Tarquinn to normal, then go back to the cavern and actually get the thrice-damned Medusa Head!
"I think I have gallstones."