Part 12: The Booty Boutique
So there we were, tripping our fucking balls off and trying to find Booty Island.
I can't be sure, but we may have gotten distracted by that three headed fish and sailed in small circles for four hours...
Eight hours in we were out of fuel, and just as we had given up hope, we turned around to see that we had already docked some time before.
Dread had to have "A bit of a lie down", so I headed onto to island alone.
But something terrible had happened! My buzz was gone! I had to find that party, and quick!
Sorry son, didn't have my horn out. Could you say that again?
I said HELLO THERE. My name's Threepwood.
Oh, why hello there Threepwood. You in town for Mardi Gras?
No, I'm on a treasure hunt!
What? They doin' a treasure hunt again this year? I can't believe they'd try that again after all the mishaps last year.
What kind of mishaps?
Well, enjoy Mardi Gras.
Well if it's a party you're looking for... I hear Governor Marley is having some super shindig up at her mansion.
Marley? That's funny, I used to date a Governor Marley.
Oh sure... And I'll bet you helped her beat LeChuck too.
Don't laugh, I've got the proof right here...
Hey, hey, kid. It's okay. Mardi Gras is the time for fantasy.
Now you run along and enjoy Mardi Gras.
I promptly fled the scene of my crippling humiliation.
I had a party to crash!
Don't you know a Mardi Gras costume when you see one? Is there something I could help you with?
What are you guarding here?
I'm guarding Governor Marley's Mansion.
Elaine Marley? From Melée Island?
Yup. The same heroic Elaine Marley that killed the Ghost Pirate LeChuck.
But I killed LeChuck!
Why would Governor Marley lie?
So I tried to convince... Wait a minute, that reminds me! Wwhat the hell was all that business about you killing LeChuck anyway?!
In your dreams.
I'm here for the party.
You mean Governor Marley's Mardi Gras fish fry? It's invitation only and costumes are required.
Don't cloud the issue with your logic and reasonable explanations you lying bitch!
Bending the truth in politics? How could you do such a preposterous, unthinkable thing?! It's unheard of!
Oh yeah, and what are you going to do about it, huh?
No! Please! Not the rope! Okay! Okay!
Now where was I, ah yes...
I was being overwhelmed by the fabulous wares of the local souvenier boutique!
I've never heard of it.
They call it "Dead Man's Drop" now.
As seen in "Raiders", "Temple", "Holy Grail", and "The Young Chronicles".
Great! That'll be 25 pieces o' eight.
Okay, I'll take it.
Yes, he seems to be in love with his reflection.
But I must have this mirror! It is time to engage in a battle of wits!
Sorry, that's not for sale.
Well, ah... I guess I could sell it... That'll be 5 pieces o' eight.
Ha! The mirror is mine, parrot. You fought well but you have met your equal!
Great! That'll be 15 pieces o' eight.
Great! That'll be 40 pieces o' eight. Let me get you one from overstock.
I was caught up in my spending addiction... I just couldn't stop...
That's one of my favourite things in the store. But I don't have enough back stock to sell it.
Got too noisy for me.
I'd like to buy this feather pen.
Alrighty. That'll be 10 pieces o' eight.
I'd like to buy these hub caps.
Excellent choice, they're 50 pieces o' eight each.
Okay, I'll take it.
Let me get you one from overstock.
Wow! I knew these would be valuable someday! I'd like to buy it.
Alrighty. That'll be 199 pieces o' eight. Let me get you one from overstock.
Big Whoop map piece spotted!
I'd like to buy this map piece!
That's 6,000,000 pieces of eight. Do you want it?
I can't afford that much! Ah... I mean... Do you take VISA?
Yeah, like you have one. But I do accept personal checks or trade-ins.
Is there anything you would trade the map piece for?
There was a certain ship that sunk and I'd really like the figurehead. The ship was a huge galleon named "The Mad Monkey". Nobody knows where it sank or why, but the figurehead is supposed to be the most fabulous piece of art ever. I'd trade the map piece for that.
I have to go now.
Look at all this crap!
In retrospect... I may have let my shopping addiction get the better of me just a little...