Final Fantasy Legend II Part #29

Part 29: Ragnarockin'

Uh oh. Looks like we ran out of doors.

Is that it? Did we win?

Yep!

Yay! We won!

Prrrrrrretty sure that's not how it works.

Y'know, I've always wondered. If we're on clouds, but we're coming out of a tower on clouds... what's under the clouds?

I'unno. More clouds?

Out of everything we've seen so far, that's what you guys are questioning?

I'm gonna look!

Um, good luck with that?

Woah.

A duplex? In this neighborhood? That's bold.

Hmm. The Eye of Isis is reporting a whooooole lot of magi. I'm guessing that's where they are.

Ehn, might as well head in. What's the worst that could happen?

_{get it off get it off aaaaa}

That's what you get for having your head in the clouds~

Boom!

Seriously though, we should get that off of her.

_{help I'm surrounded by the White Death, it's so cold in here, I'm scared}

Wow, this place must've cost a fortune!

Hmm...

Roy?

Is anyone else getting a creepy feeling of déjà vu?

Dude, you know I don't speak French.

Welcome to a mysterious~ sky palace! We'll be seeing a lot of recycled enemies from the first half of the Nasty Dungeon, so good thing we slogged through that mess already. Isn't that great? They give you an optional super hard dungeon, and if skip it, fuck you fight the same monsters anyway. That's... that's great. Yeah.

Anyway, let's pause for a brief moment and take a look at where our guys are after the Nastiest Dungeon Allowed by Law.

Heather is terrifying. Let's just get that out of the way right now. She can wander up and drop 600-700, even on bosses. She's packing an Ogre Axe and a Muramasa so we can get criticals on a couple of nasty monster families, and if that doesn't cover it, we've got a Sun sword in our inventory to swap in. Also of note is the Ninja gauntlet—which gives her O-Weapon—and her Gungnir spear, which attacks entire groups. I... don't really know how that works. When you're a legendary weapon, you can probably just do whatever the fuck you want.

I've actually removed Roy's Selfix so I could equip him with Arthur armor, thus granting him a poor man's O-Change. (Remember, robots are naturally resistant to poison/paralysis/instadeath.) He's wielding two tanks, a samurai bow, and a hyper cannon. That is a scary amount of crowd control. He also has the defender sword, which is basically his shield, because lol 0 strength.

With the addition of her Parasuit, Sara has suddenly become our best all-around fighter. She's not as durable as Heather or Roy, but her agility and mana stats give her access to weapons like Catclaw and Psi Gun. A staple of Final Fantasy games everywhere, the Catclaw is an absolutely fantastic agility weapon that does about 550 in Sara's hands. You can buy them in Edo, too, so we should be in good shape from here on out.

Meanwhile, we've given up all pretence of Zero being anything except a mage. Spellbooks were stupid expensive back at the start of the game, but now, they're dirt cheap and the single best value in the game. Spellbooks hit harder than mutant abilities—and doubly so with Zero's mana rating of 57. We give him Thunder because it's (I think?) one of the least likely enemy resistances. At some point, I might go back and pick up Fog for poison elemental attacks instead. idk

Also, we have over 100k gold. Did I mention that? Yeah, we stopped needing to buy things a while ago. It's just as well, as Edo is the last shopping center we'll see. Or maybe not. I honestly can't remember, and I'm not there yet in the playthrough. The point is, we have a shitload of gold! Maybe we can just bribe the final boss into going away! we can't

Hey, what's over there?

What? I thought this was, like, a legendary weapon!

Maybe the vending machine guys for the Nasty Dungeon work here.

You know that's actually not a thing, right?

quote:

Alrighty! That'll be 145,123 gold. Sign here, and here.

Great! Just have it delivered to this address.

...you're kidding.

Nope.

How am I even supposed to get it there?

Well, you have wings, so you're going to want to go straight up. A whole lot.

...have I ever asked you what you think about this dungeon's nastiness?

Ehn, I've seen worse.

I was hoping you'd say that.

Yeah, you're probably right.

The palace is also jammed pack with loot! The quality won't be as good as the Nasty Dungeon, but it's not too far off. Let's take a look around, shall we?

Anybody know what this does? Anyone?

Uh, takes up space in our inventory?

Sounds about right.

I think the Wizard staff casts either Stone or Erase. We've got more expedient ways of dealing with large groups, though, and it only gets 10 uses anyway. Maybe we'll sell it later, because who's going to stop us? You? Don't make me laugh.

Man, somebody really likes crystals.

It's obsidian, dude.

...what?

Volcanic glass! Happens when lava cools down really quick without a lot of ground moisture.

... ... what?

Like, how do you even know that?

Are you kidding? I love rocks! I even had pet rocks growing up!

quote:

Do you think he's old enough to clean up after it?

*meow*

Zero's very responsible, dear. And just look how cute it is!

Aw, you're right. Look at you! You're a cute little kitty! Yes you are!

...

Hi, mom! Hi, dad! What's up?

...we got you a pet rock, son!

_Sweeeeeeeet

I consider myself something of a rock aficionado!

You certainly do share some qualities with them, yes.

meeeeeeh

In case of nerds, break glass!

Woooooooo!

A brief note: Flare spellbooks only have 15 uses or so, and I don't think you can actually buy them anywhere. As with all weapons of mass destruction, use them prudently. Unless you can give them to Roy, in which case, give them to Roy.

Seriously, you guys. I swear we've been here before.

Shyeah, right. Because we've totally been to a sky palace full of crystals and legendary weapons.

Yeah! I'd think we'd remember that, Roy!

...and we would apparently be wrong.

Surprise! We're in Valhalla! We kind of took the long way around this time. Let's see what Odin has to say now that we aren't ghosts. Or... whatever we are when we're dead. Look, I don't write FFL2's mythology, okay? It pretty much gets as far as "Gods exist" and you're on your own after that.

...our first meeting?

Yup! Was tooootally dead.

Word.

It's great to see you again, Mr. Odin! And we're not even dead this time!

No, indeed. *chuckle* Oh, children. You've grown so powerful, I hesitate to even call you that.

Aw, shucks. It's really not that big of a deal.

_{says you}

I'm so very proud of all of you. I couldn't ask for more worthy opponents.

Hey, thanks! I—wait, what?

...fight you?! You're our friend!

Yes—dear friends, each and every one of you. But, you made me a promise when we met, and I said there would be a cost for my help. This is it.

Wait a sec!

...anymore, right?

Yeah, this is sounding like a lose-lose.

Oh, Heather...

...that's so much easier said than done.

In order to continue, you're going to have to kill the guy who's been reviving your party when you screw up. What, you thought you would have those training wheels forever? This is SaGa, son. Either you'll learn to ride that bike or you'll restart from your last save until you do.

Odin is accompanied into battle by his horse Slepnir and his crows, Huginn and Muninn. That makes it four on four, which is a fair fight befitting the Norse Allfather's oath of battle. You see, by fighting on equal terms with proper intent, it's the Norse belief that—

I GOT THIS

...a tiny robot will come along and liquidate them with his huge fuck-off death cannon. Sure.

OdinCrow and Slepnir are unique monsters, but they're not bosses—which means you can fire the Hyper cannon and make this 4-on-1 in a hurry. It's not a bad plan if you can get it off before they can attack. Otherwise, it might be more prudent to sic your faster spellcasters on them. Less entertaining, though!

And so, his allies dealt with, a literal god-tier brawl gets underway. On one side: the Allfather of Wisdom. On the other: a nerd, a neurotic, a spoiled sociopath, and the Brave Little Toaster.

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen!

Komið, vindur og rigning!

Already thought of that trick, old man!

Ha! Using my own weapon against me! Heather, you've become a bold and brave warrior.

But you've still got a lot to learn!

Odin is double-tough and (naturally) packs a Gungnir spear. Mercifully, it can only hit one of our guys at a time. Plus, O-Weapon means you can survive two hits instead of one! Roy does not have O-Weapon, so we would really rather he not get hit. Fortunately, we have a tank for that.

300-350 a hit is the best we can do here, as Odin has O-Weapon and a shitload of mana. Fortunately, he's lacking some basic elemental protection...

Ich bin aus der Dinge zu sagen, auf Deutsch!

Woah.

Not gonna lie, did not expect that to work.

With Zero able to cast spells, our party can crank out about 1200 damage a round—900 after Heather gets dropped—and Odin uses spells more often than his spear. As long as you can quickly get rid of his friends and he doesn't spam Gungnir, you'll be okay. (Oh, and he's not resurrecting your stupid ass if you die fighting him. Hope you saved!) You may need to try once or twice, but eventually...

...we blow up Odin with a tank.

SaGa, y'all.

_{Ha! Well done, Roy...}

_{...to fight with the best and greatest warriors ever. Now, my wish has been granted.}

We didn't want to fight you! Why did you make us do this?!

_{This many magi weren't meant to be held by mortal hands for so long. It was only a matter of time before I lost control.}

But you're a god! You could've fixed it!

_{No, Heather. I'm just a man—a man who, one day long ago, stumbled across a large pile of statue pieces.}

Well, I'm still proud to have served you!

_{And you've honored me greatly by it. Listen—all of you. There's only one magi left. You must climb the final branches of Yggdrasil and retrieve it. Then, when you have them all... destroy them.}

Dude, are you sure? We spent a lot of time rounding these things up.

_{Yes. Look what these fragments did to me. What they did to Ashura. They were not meant to be in mortal hands. Don't fall to their temptation, children. Rid the world of the magi's influence. It will a better place. *cough hack*}

Odin! Don't die!

_{I-It's alright, Sara. I'm going to Odin—the real Odin. I feel like...}

Wait. If there's another Odin, and this is Valhalla, where are you going?

_{Super Valhalla.}

...that sounds totally rad.

_{It totally is, Heather. It... totally... is.}

Let's all take a moment to remember an ally and friend.

...

I'm kind of thinking I might not want to do this anymore.

Well, Odin said to get the last magi and get rid of them. I think we should fufill his last request.

I'm with you. A whole lot of people died because of these things. Let's huck 'em into a volcano somewhere and call it a day.

I'm really sorry, Heather. If the Lady of the Saw wanted me to kill her, I don't know what I'd do.

You'd honor her by doing what she asked. Duh.

Suspiciously straightforward.

Gag me rotten. They should just put up a sign out that says, "Huge ambush coming."

Well it wouldn't be much of an ambush then, would it?

Nothing gets by you, buddy.

You know it. I have a mind like a steel trap!

...

Sara?

Look, I can't pick the low hanging fruit all the time. Somebody else take a turn here.

I do not have a good feeling about this.

I know you have 76 magi now... and I have number 77 right here in my hand.

Either you or I will get it all. Which will it be, I wonder?

Mr. Apollo! You have to give us that last magi!

So be it.

Right back atcha, bro!

Oh. Well that's not nearly as exciting.

Say hello to our next boss, Minion.

...

Now say goodbye to Minion, because he doesn't have O-Weapon. Shame. I didn't have a chance at any hilarious and culturally relevant Despicable Me jokes.

You can see here that Heather's using the Masamune magi. You get this one after defeating Odin. It's a really good sword that you can use an unlimited number of times. It definitely comes in handy here.

Okay but seriously. You have to give us that magi!

Hmpf. Well, you're definitely stronger now. Let me show you something interesting...

...that's dirty, holmes.

Totally.

Roy! Don't give him the magi! We're not worth it!

...

Well, what do you say? I mean, if these people's lives don't mean anything to you, I can go find your mothers...

...okay. You win.

No!

Seriously, dude! If we give him the magi, we're all screwed!

And if we let all of our friends die, how are we going to look ourselves in the mirror?

Just tell me one thing. You meant to do all of this in the beginning, didn't you? When we first met?

Of course I did. I admit, I was curious to see how far you'd go collecting magi for me... I never dreamed you'd make it all the way to the end. In fact, for saving me all that trouble, I've decided to allow you and your friends to live in my new world. Isn't that nice of me?

But you only had two magi! How did you get this powerful? How did you do all this?

Oh, I had a little something extra. Something I found a long time ago. Something that opened my mind up to fundamental truths...