"I would carry the world for you if I could... but alas... I cannot."
Bioware's Baldur's Gate series of RPGs are some of the most beloved games in their genre. From the first game's release in 1998 to its vastly superior sequel's expansion in 2001 they quickly became favorites of CRPG fans around the globe. Its popularity re-surged after Beamdog released the Enhanced Editions in 2012 and 2013 respectively as well as Siege of Dragonspear, a new expansion to the original game that was released in 2016.
The games are also known for having a surprisingly large modding community and this Let's Play will focus on these mods most of all, or rather one mod in particular: Sandrah Saga. As a result this Let's Play will not focus too much on Baldur's Gate's original content aside from the main story beats. Players unfamiliar with Baldur's Gate will probably be better off reading a 'vanilla' LP in addition to this one if they want to follow along.
This LP will also be focusing more on dialogue/story instead of regular gameplay, in part because despite playing the games since their release I'm still a piss-poor player but also because that'd make the LP too damn long. Mod-specific areas as well as interesting new game mechanics (if any) will obviously receive a bit more attention in this regard. Please try to contain your inevitable frustration at my horrific way of playing. Constructive criticism however is of course more than welcome.
By this point you're probably asking yourself what the Sandrah Saga is all about. Allow me to answer that question at least somewhat:
"With the EET possibility to play the Baldurs Gate once again as one continuous game, the Sandrah Saga tries to create a character with her very own storyline spanning the complete saga (and more) who can accompany the player throughout the game. Her story is connected in many ways to the Bhaalspawns own quests.
Sandrah is a young priestess of Mystra (fighter/cleric) from Waterdeep, the daughter of a famous character of the Realms, who steps out of her fathers mighty shadow to make herself an own name and also to discover the hidden part of her family history. This plot runs along the PCs own discovery of who he/she is. Sandrah is a specialized healer, on the battlefield but also for those companions that suffer in heart and soul."
You might be thinking that this sounds like a slightly-larger-than-usual NPC mod but you'd be sorely mistaken. This mod is one of the more ambitious BG 'megamod' projects. It includes entire new areas, over a hundred new quests(!) and aims to rival the main character's story in scope. Sandrah is infamous for being an enormous Mary Sue whose story quickly eclipses anything else going on in the game right up until the end. The mod even includes content set after the end of Throne of Bhaal. Few megamods rival it in the amount of content it adds, in this Let's Play we'll see if said content is actually worthwhile.
The mod is rather infamous for its large amount of crossmod content, with dozens of mods having Sandrah-specific content added to them often without the permission of their respective modders. Some of these mods seem to be essential to Sandrah's story which is why I've decided to install pretty much all of them so that we can enjoy this trainwreck the way it was intended. The mod list can be found in the readme of the mod which you can find in the link above.
This will be a (mostly) blind playthrough. Some aspects of this LP are set in stone, I am planning on bringing certain NPCs with me and my attitude towards Sandrah will be as friendly as possible since the mod seems to be geared towards that attitude. Suggestions on pretty much everything else are not only welcome but in fact encouraged, especially if some of you have already played this mod before. These people are encouraged to use spoiler tags when discussing content that I haven't reached yet, however.
Table of Contents
Chapter I - Buzzurk! Gorschabarmarzabuldarvel!
Chapter II - *sadly* Me too.
Chapter III - Scarry. Like bloodhounds.
Chapter IV - From your words the other day I have deducted that you have known my mother still alive.
Chapter V - These are trouble times indeed.
Chapter VI - Wow, little duckling, you are a magnificent swan tonight.
Chapter VII - You full hate, elfling?
Chapter VIII - Oh bloody me, where's ma brain.
Chapter IX - She has no steady boyfriend at the moment.
Chapter X - I'm Imoen, the counsellor Of Love.
Chapter XI - What a tease...what a fruit to be plucked...aah...
Chapter XII - It is Sandrah I kiss, not Elminster's daughter.
Chapter XIII - I can almost smell all the men you have experienced...
Chapter XIV - Healer of souls.
Chapter XV - Water caress scales like lover should.
Chapter XVI - Boo likes that.
Chapter XVII - Thou are nay the one!
Chapter XVIII - The Sword Coast these days is crowded with morons. I'm embarrassed.
Chapter XIX - Don't move, you abortion!
Chapter XX - Children...hoho...
Chapter XXI - kissa me quickly.
Chapter XXII - you are the mostest stupish idiot stumblin' through the Realms.
Chapter XXIII - Quickest keep talkin', little man!
Chapter XXIV - Was well to choose commander for lust.
Chapter XXV - I knew this road to wealth would get me the best of chicks in the end.
Chapter XXVI - Jen'lig and commander not do for breeding.
Chapter XXVII - Do not become hopeless just now, my poor besta friend.
Chapter XXVIII - Good chance for elfling to be used as toy by strong girl.
Chapter XXIX - The chance to get a few minutes of rest from that hungry beast that drained me tonight.
Chapter XXX - 'twas all blood and blurry, n' I guess I killed some orcs with empty hands, huh?
Chapter XXXI - Hey say that slowly again? Orphn ass?
Chapter XXXII - I can still hear their lovesick moaning at the moon from your last visit, hahaha.
Chapter XXXIII - A nocturnal lullaby of longing and sweet satisfaction.
Chapter XXXIV- Pink is the bestest of all colours, I say it all the time.
Chapter XXXV - Now the Black Archer is satisfied by Tazok's dead, he has no need for his tool any more.
Chapter XXXVI - Beware of the traitors... *snooze*
Chapter XXXVII - Mystra be praised, she does not require her priestesses to be chaste!
Chapter XXXVIII - Demon hunting is the funnest of funs.
Chapter XXXIX - Oh, yes, she's a perfect whore thanks to you.
Chapter XL- Nether lips.
Chapter XLI - Tututu, sleep, my little girl, sleep, tututu.
Chapter XLII - Oh, how lucky I am to be loved by such two wonderful pussycats at once.
Chapter XLIII - Ya mem'ry's as sharp as mine.
Chapter XLIV - Sweet little deceiver.
Chapter XLV - Can you admire a moonblade wielder running around in the colours of a circus geek?
Chapter XLVI- Hello, my not-so-little-girl-any-more, would you recognize your old growler, as you liked to call me?
Chapter XLVII - This is quite a compliment from a lady of the world like you.
Chapter XLVIII- You do not need to bleed from your wounds if you want my company after a fight.
Chapter XLIX - Then onward, let us see the final chapter, the *EPILOGUE* of this *BOOK*.
Chapter L - Together we can channel the powers of the godly seed inside of you into the direction that Gorion had wanted for you.
Chapter LI - I will make sure this damned god will not get a drop of water in my desert garden. May his seed be eaten by the ants and the snails. Bhaal begone!
Chapter LII - Commander and Sandrah in union are strong for any future.
Chapter LIII - She always has *helpful* advice, but ask yourself who has the most profit from your heeding it.
Chapter LIV - Jen'lig learn to trust Sandrah, no longer will hide from her.
Addendum I - Mystra's Army
Chapter LV - If I can stand it you should as well, be no baby.
Chapter LVI - ..mmh...that wonderful middle toe graced by the silver engraved ring that I dreamed of kissing...
Chapter LVII- A bad choice, my sssweet sssoon to be lovessslave.
Chapter LVIII - The lovelelelely Sandrah...
Chapter LIX - I would be interested in that wine - and especially the dessert thereafter - right here and now.
Chapter LX - If you are going to try to kill us then go right ahead, but give us some credit for intelligence!
Chapter LXI - Sandrah of Waterdeep, priestess of haha Mystra.
Chapter LXII - Make yourself comfortable over here, you deserve some special care from me today.
Chapter LXIII - Dwarfling only half size of manling but stink like mountain of manure used to cultivate our hydroponic gardens in the depths of a city's mass.
Chapter LXIV - Not for use by unclean. Jen'lig only clean to use.
Chapter LXV - DRIZZT DO'URDEN AND ELMINSTER'S BABY GIRL IN ONE CATCH - CELEBRATION TIME AGAIN!!!
Chapter LXVI - Everrithing is wrrong with you and false. You have the stink of the city's backwater deep in yourr expensive dresses and made up hairdo.
Chapter LXVII - Cherchez la femme *A*.
Chapter LXVIII - (Smile) I am learning daily - from the best, from you.
Chapter LXIX - And then - please understand me right, I am not talking out of vanity - I felt so disappointed that she never had the pleasure to get to know - me.
Chapter LXX - Oh, my bestest puffing daddy, let me kiss and kiss ya quickest.
Chapter LXXI - you are a bit too sweaty for my taste at the moment.
Chapter LXXII - Are you prepared for a hard fight, loverboy? There will be one in our bedroll tonight if you have the stamina not to run away from me.
Chapter LXXIII - (Hiss) Try to become weak manling god must end like this. Commander wise not to choose such path, Vichan made to destroy gods rather than become useless one.
Addendum II - Murderer! You will pay for this!
Addendum III - MEN!
Siege of Dragonspear:
Chapter LXXIV - Sandrah - my friend - live long and prosperous.
Chapter LXXV - Poisoned weapons as far as I can say.
Chapter LXXVI - We will keep all these sweet moments we had with her in our common memory.
Chapter LXXVII - Congratulations, dumb fools!! Round one clearly goes to you.
Chapter LXXVIII - You have this worried look after a sleep, Vichan, your healer knows it to well.
Chapter LXXIX - Just like the mighty bhaalspawn from Baldur's Gate is not alone, this is true for the Shining Lady as well.
Chapter LXXX - HeeheeheehahaHAHAHAHAAAaaa...
Chapter LXXXI - After all, it is just another bridge we cross.
Chapter LXXXII- That would be a task for my experienced healer, Sandrah of Waterdeep.
Chapter LXXXIII - It hurts just a bit, but I know it will soon be good when my Sandrah starts her healing on me.
Chapter LXXXIV - You have given me a lot of hope with your knowledge.
Chapter LXXXV - Wow, what a day!
Chapter LXXXVI - I have been a bad counsellor, just once again. I should have seen it earlier.
Chapter LXXXVII - My besta friend imoen - there are still friends you can always count on.
Shadows of Amn:
Chapter LXXXVIII - This monster man will pay for all, besta friend Sandrah, he'll feel your hammer and my fireball, I swear and swear it.
Chapter LXXXIX - Not a single love slave to adore and pleasure that that magnificent body?
Chapter XC - One more word of insult to Mystra and the damage you receive will be more than YOUR skills will be able to heal, HELMIT!
Chapter XCI - There are worse heritages, my snowcap.
Chapter XCII - That was my human part, I guess. Orcs don't cry.
Chapter XCIII - I am ork!!! If I were not, what would I be then?
Chapter XCIV - Probably not, but I get a bit cutty with my slow ward to get things moving ahead to the obvious.
Chapter XCV - Not all orc's butts are for buttkickin', it seems.
Chapter XCVI - Words of utmost delight from the lips of a girl who can only be a dream, too wonderful to be real- both the words and the girl.
Chapter XVII - My thighs await the fearless wanderers.
Chapter XCVIII - Your poor bard will starve now, my morning dove. How can these lips touch any food now that removes the sweet taste you gave to them.
Chapter XCIX - The two of you in couple on my leash - that is my vision of paradise. Just a tug left or right and the one there will crawl up to me to pleasure my flesh, aaah...
Chapter C - Sandrah!! The girl who always let me lose every thought I had for every word I might have wanted to tell her.
Chapter CI- Priestess, you impress me once again. So many things connect and make sense when you explain them. You could well be a teacher in Oghma's name.
Chapter CII - As gladiators you will be worth a fortune...and those pretty girls will grace any lust chamber and make their owners rich.
Chapter CIII - It had to be done and it had to be done by me.
Chapter CIV - The problem with doing completely stupid things is that yourself are the last person to recognise it, am I right?
Chapter CV - But which mother would cast an eye on her daughter's loved one herself...What a mess life is...
Chapter CVI - Fair and interesting maidens are not only to be found in my home. With the open eyes of a druid beauty can be found anywhere.
Chapter CVII - Hey, loverboy, I have two of that outlets.
Chapter CVIII - (That should get her!! She cannot await to enlarge her knowledge...sometimes I'm afraid her beautiful head might explode from all the useless stuff it gathers...)
Chapter CIX - BIG WORDS FOR A MORTAL WHO DARES TO COME DOWN HERE FOR THIS CRAZY INVENTION CALLED LOVE SPIT LOVE!!
Chapter CX - Oh, my, this reminds me of Noober or Roober. Say, your name is by chance *Floober*?
Chapter CXI - A good idea. (Oh, a full appreciation of that girl fighting without the need to participate with my spells. What a delight.)
Chapter CXII - You have made the expected progress from the fledgling young priestess under your mighty father's wing to a powerful cleric, Sandrah.
Chapter CXIII - In her own words she calls me her *besta friend* and I have no reason to object to that description.
Chapter CXIV - Gee, I knew and knew and knew always all the time you would be there for me if all else failed, Sandrah. Yes and yes, please send me to Henning!
Chapter CXV - Ha, between the sheets I will still lead.
Chapter CXVI - Oooh,...Mistress, you have to blame yourself for your unruly slave. With a treatment like this to endure you invite him to fail as often as possible.
Chapter CXVII - Your anger only enhances your beauty - and stirs up my lust.
Chapter CXVIII - I just wanted to kiss you but that mouth is full of ugly thorns. You have nice wings but I cannot get accustomed to that face.
Chapter CXIX - I declare you genius!! Once again you have proven it - or once again you blindly hit the right spot.
Chapter CXX - (smiles) Maybe that explains your knack for drow companions and some of your skills in the bedchamber.
Chapter CXXI - (Smiles) You do not give us much time to rest a bit after all we have been through. (Sigh) The boss man calls and the bed waits empty...
Chapter CXXII - It was this very air I was breathing when I had my first glance of you on that mournful day long ago..
Chapter CXXIII - Here is a first taste of your reward, great hero.
Chapter CXXIV - Her first attack was to you? She knows my heart's feelings better than anyone.
Chapter CXXV - Truth often comes from the mouth of children or fools. May his prophesies be just tales to frighten children, one thing stays true. Only a Bhaalspawn will prevent the return of...YOU.
Throne of Bhaal:
Chapter CXXVI - You begin to get as mysterious as those stone heads - only your face is much lovelier.
Chapter CXXVII - Some good willing Tamoko cannot be compared to a woman like you.
Chapter CXXVIII - No one has ever called me *my friend* the way you just did...
Chapter CXXIX - You are not afraid of me, you never was.
Chapter CXXX - Priestess, I like to ask you about your cat.
Chapter CXXXI - Are we nothing but pawns in a game here, Lord of the Chaos?
Chapter CXXXII - I will not lose mine daughters and the hope of the Realms to Bhaal!!
Chapter CXXXIII - Who could be a better symbol for Love and Hope than one who is condemned as *Evil* by those who consider themselves superior and *Good*!!
Addendum IV - Can't a descent dwarf enjoy his beer in peace without a foolish human immediately pulling him into hell?
Chapter CXXXIV - Weeen.
Chapter CXXXV - What will happen to the part of the essence that is within me but which I use in the name of Eilistraeee and Mystra and have no intention to apply in an evil way ever.
Return to Faerun:
Chapter CXXXVI - I can hardly await to roam the realms once again and meet old friends.
Chapter CXXXVII - Psst, I am here incognito, little nun.
Chapter CXXXVIII - Oh, bestest of all bestest mamas... I will make you proud of me.
Chapter CXXXIX- So they kicked the fledgling god of love spit Love and and vain Hope out already. Well, that was to be expected without an adequate advisor by your side.
Chapter CXL - I's got this wonderful fur coat...in case nobody noticed it yet, it's the PINK that makes it so special. I'm warm, haha.
Chapter CXLI - You have cleaned the groove again?
Chapter CXLII - Boy, are ya the wrong thin' in the wrong place at the wrong time!
Chapter CXLIII - Uuh, I always been thinkin' the rain on our ol' Sword Coast wasss bad, but not asss wet asss that guy's word gush.
Chapter CXLIV - Vichan's portfolio is of Love and Hope, your taint is cleaned forever.
Chapter CXLV - Watcha think, cleverest Sandrah, can we put dem red robes out in the sun to bleach 'em to pink?
Chapter CXLVI - You own us now, mistress, and even as we are slaves now we may still call ourselves lucky today.
Chapter CXLVII - Who's more surprised, thee or me?
Chapter CXLVIII - Ohnonothimagain!
Chapter CXLIX - Mmh - you know how to convince me, you teasing sparrow.
Chapter CL - Chastity is not on our agenda but we are no temple whores or such.
Chapter CLI - After the black beauty now comes the white beauty and has overcome my defences.
Chapter CLII - Where there is love and hope, darkness has already lost the fight.
Chapter CLIII - I cannot wait to smash those who have deprived me of my true love.
Chapter CLIV - Ha, you will have a new definition what PAIN is when I'm through with you this evening, (Hiss!)
Chapter CLV - I surely have deserved a glass of Thayan wine or two accompanied by some equally sweet kisses from my wife (Oh, those drow skills..mmh).
Chapter CLVI - Dream on, fool.
Chapter CLVII - YOU, miserable descendent of that meddling harper - ALL OF THIS IS YOUR WORK!!
Time of Troubles Revisited:
Chapter CLVIII - Forget my moods, Kelemvor, we know how you can improve them, oh, yes, I know you can!
Chapter VLIX - I know some women like that, the sweat, strength, power of the bull, the lion, yeah, the panther.
Chapter CLX - These words are without value.
Chapter CLXI - Even suffering and enduring requires the perspective of relief.
Chapter CLXII - There must be anti-climax before there can be catharsis.
Chapter CLXIII - Your last rape was the one you should better have left undone.
Victims of The Beast as of chapter 114, by System Metternich
GIF by By popular demand
By Midnight Voyager
Sandrah Devouring Her Prey by Caros and Midnight Voyager
By Comrade Koba